FF - A short story about the Brute chief - Updated

Last post 10-11-2009, 1:13 PM by I FJ I. 6 replies.
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  •  10-09-2009, 2:31 PM 744227

    FF - A short story about the Brute chief - Updated

    Ive never written anything in my life, infact I failed GCSE English, but I thought I would just pass the bordom by writting a quick tale of the Brute.

    As the Brute Cheif stood upon a high cliff, casting his eyes over his essembled army, he couldnt help but feel overwhelming pride for his fellow soliders. But there was also a feeling of great concern, a feeling he tried to bury, but became insistantly more predominant as the time for battle grew nearer. He has every faith in his men, but he had seen what a Spartan as capable of. He once witnessed a Spartan rip apart a Brute with his bare hands, that was when he vowed to do what ever it took to make humanity suffer for what they did to his fellow Brute. The more he thought about it, the angrier he got, but he couldnt let his troops know, because it was a sign of weakness. He had to bruy his feelings deep inside, and aim his anger towards to UNSC army.

    "Today my brothers, we fight for our land, our people and our Pride. The UNSC has mercilessly slaughtered us, defied our great Prophets, and spat in the face of our reigion" A great roar was let out from the crowed. The Chief continued

    "As I look out at all of you, I see a thousand eyes, buring with desire, desire to destory the UNSC, and everything they stand for. I couldnt be prouder of any of you" The crowed began to stamp their feet, and let off huge chears or pride.

    "Today we have a chance to end the whole war, a chance to reach the promised land, and a chance to take back what was stolen from us....our dignity. I have faith that you will all fight with everything you have, and I forsee nothing but total victory!" The crowed began to scream wildly, they just couldnt contain themselfs.

    "UNSC drop ships will be here any minute now, so take your wepons, and go kill some human scum!" The crowed ran in every direction, they knew they wanted to fight, but they didnt know when, where or how. They just ran at anything that posed a threat, and fired wepons at it, until it lay dead, or they lay dead. In every respect, they where barberic, and lacked disiplin, but the Chief didnt see it that way, he saw a proud race of warriors, who give everything theyve got untill they, or the enemy was defeated.

    The Chief could hear the tell tale sound of UNSC Pelican Engines, and knew it was time. As his soldiers ran towards the enemy, without fear, and without hesitation, he could feel himself welling up. But he rememberd who he was, his heritage and the position he was in. His race show no emotion apart from anger and rage. He quickly swalloed his pride, and ran blindly a the threat, while giving a scream that would shake the flesh, and tremmor the ground.

    Within moments, the Brute Chief was comfrunted by a large group of UNSC troops, each one of them opend fire at his men. This only enraged the Chief further. He targeted a group of 4 soliders, that where giving the bad news to a Brute with their assult rifles. The Chief leaped into the air, and brought down his hammer with incredable force. He smashed into the centre of the group so hard he heard to bones cracking of the unfortunate solider he landed on. Blood splashed into his face, and bone fragments sliced through his fur. The Chief let out a growl of triumph, and turned to check the damage he caused. Two soliders got hurled into the air, and landed with a huge thud, the remaining solider was trembling in a heap on the floor, wishing it would all go away.

     The Chief stood over him, and looked into the soliders eyes. The soldier was young, no older than 20, he must of been fresh from training. His eyes pleeded with the Chief to spare his life, but the Chief was having none of it. This solider may not of personally killed his men, but he stood for everything that was wrong, he had to die. The Chief grabbed the neck of the solider with his massive paw, and raised him over his head. He stared into the soliders eyes and roared into his face as loudly as he could. Urine trickled down the soliders leg as he knew his time was up. He quietly started reciting a prayer, and the Chief recconised he was praying. The chief brought the soliders face so close his own, that he could smell the disgusting minty freshness of his breath. He then wispherd. "Your god cant save you now" and began to tighten his grip. The helpless solider let out a scream, but only a small gasp of air escaped his mouth.

    The Chief continued to squeeze the life from him. Then there was suddenly an almighty thudding sound, and the Chief got thrown to the ground and dropped his victom. His ears began to ring, and the floor was spinning. He shook it off and stood up weakly, then turned to see what had happened. A Spartan stood right in front of him, and he realised he had been hit over the head. The Chief screamed as loud as he could to try an intimidate the Spartan, but it was infact himsef that was scared.

    He rasied his hammer and brought it crashing down onto the Spartan. The Spartan acted quickly, and his hand flew into the path of the Hammer and stopped it with out any effort. The Spartan swung a punch right into the gut of the Chief. The wind was knocked out of him, he felt the shockwave ripple through his body, he felt like his kidneys where going to explode. More quickly than the Chief could realise, he took a second blow to the chin, this time he felt his jaw crack and he flew head over heals on to the floor. His head pounded, and all he saw was blackness, he knew he was going to die, but he continued to fight. He stood again and sent a fury of punches aimed at the Spartan, but felt none of them connected. 

    He knew was over, he had been bested by a mere Human, the Chief wanted to die now, he would hate to still be alive, and have to carry the shame of being beaten by a Human. The Chief felt another blow to the side of his head, and h$e fell into a heap on the floor.  A large boot came into view and rasied slowly into the air above his face. Then, it came down fast and hard. The Chief was wrapped in a sloft blanket as his life was ended.

    Well, that passed a bit of time for me. C ya. So do what you normally do with a FF, read it, slate it or praise it. I dont know how things work in the FF cave lol.


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  •  10-10-2009, 2:55 PM 745051 in reply to 744227

    Re: FF - A short story about the Brute chief.

    The FF cave? Is that what they're calling it now?

    It was good, I shall not go into any detail on it seeing as you don't care and don't plan to continue it. But I liked some of your descriptions, very powerful.


    SPQR! An ambitious historical project, coming soon. Check the Library for early version test writes. Recommended for anyone with a love of history.
  •  10-10-2009, 7:53 PM 745207 in reply to 745051

    Re: FF - A short story about the Brute chief.

    Urg... so-so. Not very good, description is okay-ish...
    Tank > Banshee
  •  10-10-2009, 8:01 PM 745212 in reply to 745207

    Re: FF - A short story about the Brute chief.

    It took my breath away.

     


    Aww Dude, 4 Strength 4 Stam Leather belt.

    Gamertag: RebelSupport
  •  10-10-2009, 8:01 PM 745213 in reply to 745212

    Re: FF - A short story about the Brute chief.

    You should make a story about a brute that has to clean and cook all day

    Aww Dude, 4 Strength 4 Stam Leather belt.

    Gamertag: RebelSupport
  •  10-10-2009, 9:31 PM 745280 in reply to 745213

    Re: FF - A short story about the Brute chief.

    It was good but you need to get in the skin of your characters when you write. Also use some references [halo wikia works]. A normal brute chieftain will not say, UNSC but rather humans.
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  •  10-11-2009, 1:13 PM 745586 in reply to 745280

    Re: FF - A short story about the Brute chief.

    I added a little more. I havnt got a job atm, so ive got loads of free time that needs filling.
    1v1 - 48
    2v2 - 50
    3v3 - 47

    Best player evar!!!1!
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