Why captain why could we not go back moaned Jack .Because the covanent was right there at them yelled Captain Shepherd! Captain we could of went back to my calculations said AI Keley.Yes but with way to much man power screamed Captain Shepherd! Those marines go through enought. Jack still with he's eyes red from sobing grabbed  the ship's wheel and said to hell with you my wife's out there and i'm going to get back

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American railroads.....killing hobos scince 1826

, - this is called a comma, you use them for pauses in sentences.

 ; - this is a semi colon, you use it when you want to pause to be longer than that of a comma, but less than a full stop.

" - this is a speech mark, you use them to indicate when someone is speaking.

I hope that helped; your school must be rubbish if you don't even learn those. Either that or you are just lazy. Also, learn to spell words correctly, and you don't put exclamation marks after 'yelled Captain Shepard.'

And also, you miss words out. Ask your English teacher for extra help before you tackle fan fiction again; you know, go over the basics such as sentence structure, spelling, and punctuation.

Because this is terrible.

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"This one has forgotten whether it's heatsink is over capacity. It wonders whether the criminal scum considers itself fortunate" ~ Blasto, the only Hanar Spectre.

Compare this to Shadows call....

lol

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Lazyfrog.us - For all things Halo Wars

December the 15'th, go here! ^^

JumpingJet: Administrator, Co-Founder

Anders and the Arbiter comes to mind...

 Shape up, or this is just a waste of time.

thanks for your cirizesm wfrog

short chapter number 2

As you could imagine Seg.Jack was thrown in the brig for a few days.

Seg to you want out to help us rescue your asked Cap.Shepherd. Finaly,moaned Jack.I'll tell the gaurds to let you out shortly,by the way we have a location on your wife,she's on a boat thou,it's odd i've never heard of the Covanent having ocean going vessels,said the confused Cap.Come hell or high water i'm not leaving her with those creaps ,said Jack.

After the gaurds let him out Jack walked to the barracks were he asembelled his team.

Handel get are guns,hurry up rookie yelled Seg Jack,Aaron,Hunter,Josh,get ready to go boys were rollen out.What are we doing Seg,wondered Hunter.Going back for my wife,said Jack.When we leaving asked Aaron.Soon as the pelican is ready to go,duh,said Josh    

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American railroads.....killing hobos scince 1826

shepdog:

thanks for your cirizesm wfrog

short chapter number 2

As you could imagine Seg.Jack was thrown in the brig for a few days.

Seg to you want out to help us rescue your asked Cap.Shepherd. Finaly,moaned Jack.I'll tell the gaurds to let you out shortly,by the way we have a location on your wife,she's on a boat thou,it's odd i've never heard of the Covanent having ocean going vessels,said the confused Cap.Come hell or high water i'm not leaving her with those creaps ,said Jack.

After the gaurds let him out Jack walked to the barracks were he asembelled his team.

Handel get are guns,hurry up rookie yelled Seg Jack,Aaron,Hunter,Josh,get ready to go boys were rollen out.What are we doing Seg,wondered Hunter.Going back for my wife,said Jack.When we leaving asked Aaron.Soon as the pelican is ready to go,duh,said Josh    

Make sure to use quotations, run this through word for the grammar and spelling mistakes. You over use , It almost seems like you use it as quotations, and if you don't know quotations are this " " as in "Finally" moaned jack. " I'll tell the guards to let you out shortly, by the way, we have located your wife, She's on a boat though. It's odd i've never heard of the Covenant using boats." thats all i can do for now, make sure to reread through your writing before posting :D

death by fire can i call you DBF from now on please thanks for the pointers english is my worst subject in school

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American railroads.....killing hobos scince 1826

Was this a story?

If it was, I'm gonna have to sue your English teacher.

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Aww Dude, 4 Strength 4 Stam Leather belt.

Gamertag: RebelSupport

Shep, if English is your worst subject, then why do you write fan fiction? It's great that you want to, but really, I'd brush up on my skills first. A brilliant way to learn is to read books. Lots of books.

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"This one has forgotten whether it's heatsink is over capacity. It wonders whether the criminal scum considers itself fortunate" ~ Blasto, the only Hanar Spectre.

because frog i like the halo world and rebel please do 

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American railroads.....killing hobos scince 1826

Actually make more, you may have a chance to publish this epic story.

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Aww Dude, 4 Strength 4 Stam Leather belt.

Gamertag: RebelSupport

thanks rebel

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American railroads.....killing hobos scince 1826

Rebel Support:Actually make more, you may have a chance to publish this epic story.

Do I sense sarcasm?

And seriously you need focus on sentence structure and grammar in general, this doesn't seem to be working out for you so I suggest you study some English before you continue, there's no point in writing a story that no one can read.

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"Die?"Kurt laughed."Didn't you know?"he told the Elite. "...Spartans never die."

tmspartan:

Rebel Support:Actually make more, you may have a chance to publish this epic story.

Do I sense sarcasm?

And seriously you need focus on sentence structure and grammar in general, this doesn't seem to be working out for you so I suggest you study some English before you continue, there's no point in writing a story that no one can read.

Nope, I find it entertaining in a way.

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Aww Dude, 4 Strength 4 Stam Leather belt.

Gamertag: RebelSupport

Rebel Support:

tmspartan:

Rebel Support:Actually make more, you may have a chance to publish this epic story.

Do I sense sarcasm?

And seriously you need focus on sentence structure and grammar in general, this doesn't seem to be working out for you so I suggest you study some English before you continue, there's no point in writing a story that no one can read.

Nope, I find it entertaining in a way.

If losing brain cells is fun then sure this is great.

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"Die?"Kurt laughed."Didn't you know?"he told the Elite. "...Spartans never die."