Ch1: Introduction
The screen is black until a light in the middle comes on and an Elite lands in the middle of it, he looks around in surprise.
"Paragon, why do I have to do this why not you?" The Elite whispered off stage.
"Come Arbiter1000 you know everyone likes that lives here likes you, your a better person for this introduction." Paragon answered.
"Ass. Well hello everyone I'm Ariter1000, a resident on HW ave., you might all remeber us from a few months ago and I'm happy to announce we're coming back." The Elite spoke to the crowd.
"But lets put some rules down, rule 1: You can have cross-overs with other videogame characters, but only on the beach or park or something, not in the neighborhood. Now for rule 2." The Elite said. Suddenly a grunt wabbled up to him.
"Arbiter1000? What are you doing?" The grunt asked.
"Ah Kiler Grunt! Just who I needed!" Arbiter said lighting a match and throwing it on Killer Grunts balls.
"Ahhhhhhhhhh! Thats the 12th time this week!" The grunt shouted running around.
"Rule 2: you must always catch Killer grunts balls on fire somehow in each chapter, it just custom to the characters to do it." Arbiter said.
"That's what you guys think!" Killer said crying and running around still.
"Oh and rule 3: If a new neighbor moves in he can be an species from Halo. Thats all people and I now welcome you to HW ave.!" Arbiter shouted as the drapes behind him fell and the neighborhood could be seen.
You may all write your own chapters now.
Ch2: The neighbourhood was still in a massive wreckage
from the noob war, but everyone adjusted. Killer Grunt was busily
hauling bags of cement up to NT, who was flaming at nothing in
particular. NT turned his head towards Killer Grunt and flamed him.
“You little noob! Why don’t you use your feeble arms for something
useful! Like oh say… Hanging yourself!” Killer Grunt sighed and looked
down at his flaming balls.
“Gee! Thanks! ***!” Bias drove past him in his remote control car.
“You
flamed him good NT!” NT replied by sticking up his middle finger at
Bias as he rounded a corner of the street. Arbiter1000 was wearing his
kiss the cook apron as he held a BBQ in the middle of the road.
“Ok! Who wants burgers?” Bias rammed into him at full speed and only caused Arbiter to stumble a little.
“Ow! OB! You ***! I’m cooking here!” OB continued to reverse his car and ram it into Arbiters foot.
“GodDamnit… Why…Won’t…You…Move?!?!?!?!” Arbiter sighed wearily, picked up Bias’s car, and launched it over a row of houses.
Ricky held a knife up at the intruder. “Get away from me!!!! Take Bias! He tastes like rubber bands!”
Bias
burst through the door at 100MPH and slammed into the wall. The car was
totalled. Bias lay down on the carpet of his newly rebuilt home. Words
in fancy lettering appeared over his head saying “Wasted!” Bias yelled
at Ricky to come and pick him up. Ricky screamed like a woman as he hid
behind Bias’s tiny body. “It won’t leave me alone! KILL IT!” Bias did
the equivalent of a face palm and called to the intruder.
“Over
here Mendicant! Come here boy!” Mendicant the dog took a swig of his
whisky bottle before wearily walking towards him. “Yeah, yeah I heard
ya the first time ya lousy bum…” Mendicant burped and threw the whisky
bottle at Ricky. Ricky squealed and peed himself.
“Get he hell away from me ya oversized tin of dog food…”
Ricky stared blankly at Mendicant before coming out with: “I have 2 hands and a foot on each thumbnail!”
“Ricky…
Stfu…” Bias opened a can of beer and threw himself on the sofa. (Don’t
ask me how he did this!) Bias picked up the remote and flicked on the
TV.
“Do you want the perfect skin for your parsnips? Then you’re Fu**ing mental!” Bias changed the channel
“Hello
and welcome to No skin off my back! Join our contestants, David Joy and
Roy Upson as they see who can last the longest under torture! Bring out
the Guillotine!” Bias laughed as he changed the channel.
“Welcome
back to COPS!!!! We see a suspect resist arrest…” The screen flicked to
Boot! “Sir, stop resisting! Sir! Bring out the pepper spray!”
“No! *Bleep* you mother *Bleep*! I’ll kill you all you *Bleep* sucking *Bleep* Bleep*!!!!!!!!”
“That’ll teach you to stop burning down orphanages!”
CH3:
It was 6 AM in the morning and Arbiter walked out the house wearing sun-glasses, across the street Arty was getting his mail.
"Hey jerk-off why do you always wear sun-glasses when you come out?" Arty yelled across the street.
"SHUT UP YOU DUMBF***S! I'M TRYING SLEEP HERE!" OB shouted from next dorr.
"When have computers need sleep ***!" ArTy shouted back.
"Seriously why do I wear these sunglasses?" Arbiter asked himself. Suddenly a bright light exploded from Boot's house followed by a giant flaming mushroom cloud. The next moment Arty was laying on the floor with his eyes burnt out and Killers balls burnt off.
"Boot.......must......die......" Killer said passing out while holding the area that would have his balls.
"Oh yeah, that's why." Arbiter said getting on a hazmat suit.
"Missy, I'm going to pull Boot out of his radioactive house OK?" Arbiter yelled to the female Elite inside.
"K Arby." Missy yelled back.
Arbiter walked over to boots house in his Hazard suit and was met there with NT and Omega who also wore hazard suits, in the middle of the destroyed house a green glowing Boot layed twitching.
"How many times is this now you Dumbs***?" NT said picking up by his left arm.
"I don't knowsh NT, Ish losht count." A dazed Boot said.
"Well learn not to mess with explosives any more, you keep blowing yourself up and orphanages." Omega said picking up by his right arm.
"THOSE ORPHANS DONSH KNOW HOW TO SHTOP GOING INTOSH MY LAWN! ITSH THEIR FAULT!" A Drunk sound Boot shouted.
"Keep telling yourself that Boot, keep telling yourself that." Arbiter1000 said picking him up by his legs.
Omega, NT, and Arbiter1000 then carried Boot away from the radioactive house, just then a yam rolled out from under the wreckage.
"That the last time I try to make a 6-pack of tequilas at Boots house." Yam said rolling away.
Ch4
Omega sighed as he slammed the door
to his house. “Everyone’s a critique. No paragraphs? Now I actually have to
write a whole chapter…”
“Don’t
worry, I’ll help…” Alpha-Epsilon flashed onto a small terminal on the east
wall.
“No way, no
chance whatsoever. Last time you tried to make an FF you ruined it with an LFF.
And you know what, it sucked.”
“Ouch, you
don’t have to be so mean.” Alpha cringed and flashed away.
“Crybaby,”
Omega muttered, cracking a can of Coke. “Alright, what’s on now.” He flicked on
the TV and flipped through the channels.
“And in
today’s news, Boot to the Head’s house is still considered radioactive, all
citizens are strongly advised to stay away.”
“***
tequilas…” He sighed and looked out the window. The sun shown in and cast a brilliant
light across the living room floor. Omega moved to the window and opened it,
leaning out. “Hey, anyone care anymore?” He sighed at the silence and sat back
down.”
“I still
care…”
“Now one
wants another LFF Alpha, stop asking.”
“No, just
hear me out. What about pirates? What if pirates decide to raid the forums and
kill everyone who… are you even listening?”
“Of course
Alpha, everyone wants to hear about your next ‘Epic LFF.’ Just leave me outta
it this time, I’m still sore from the last run we made.” Omega leaned back and
closed his eyes. Suddenly an explosion rang from somewhere out of town. “What
the hell?” Omega ran out side just in time to see the mushroom cloud billow
above the ‘Happy Bunnies Fun Time Orphanage.’ He sighed, “Dammit Boot, how many
times,” and he went into his house to get his Hazmat suit for the second time
today.
“Hey
Arbiter, you hear? Boot killed himself again.”
“Great,
just let me finish up,” Arbiter replied, holding the hairspray up to his
lighter. “Eat this you…” He let lose on Killer Grunt’s balls. “Alright, lets
go,” he said as Killer ran around screaming in pain.
They both
climbed into the Warthog and torn off towered the orphanage.
“Hey, you
know what, I have a great idea…”
“Shut up
Alpha…”
Omega and Arbiter roared up the drive towered the orphanage.
"Hey, you might want to put that on now," Omega said, pointing to Arbiter's
hazmat suit.
"No I don't, I'm immune to radiation!"
"What? Since when?"
"Since the last time Boot blew himself up... I got better."
Omega frowned, "Alright, but you die and I am not pulling
your ass outta there. Hey Alpha, what are our odds of surviving?"
Alpha flashed onto the Hog dashboard. "Well, I'm calculating
a 32.333, repeating of course, percent chance of success."
"32% huh, well that's better then usual. Ok Arbiter, I'll go
in, pull out all the bunnies with my Giant Net. Then you... ah...come in after me
and do the same. Lethe will already be there, so what ever you do, stop him
from going in. We don't want it to be like last time okay?"
They pulled up the drive to the orphanage. Lethe was already
sitting near the door. Suddenly, he got up and yelled, "Alright then, let's do
this. LEROOOOYYYY JENKINSSSS."
Omega and Arbiter stood there in shook. Omega moved first, "What
the hell, did he just go in? He did, alright, move, move, move. Stick to the
plan, stick to the plan." Omega and Arbiter ran in and threw their nets, but
Lethe already scared all the bunnies away. "Dammit Lethe, god dammit Lethe. You
are some kind of stupid."
Lethe turned to him and stared Omega straight in the eyes. "At
least I have chicken..."
"What the? You don't have any chicken Lethe, you don't."
Omega turned and led Lethe out of the building. "Hey Arbiter, see if you can
round up those bunnies. I'll see if I can find Boot." Suddenly Killer Grunt ran
by, balls a flame with flame grenadiers following behind him. "Okay, that was
different, but we still have a job to do."
Omega found Boot lying in a pile of rubble. "Hey Boot, what
was the reason this time."
"Damned, kidth won'ts getth of my lawnth." He mumbled,
clearly drunk again.
"Dammit Boot, what did I tell you about drinking and blowing
up orphanages?" Omega began picking up Boot's pieces and moved back to the Hog.
It was going to be a long night.
CH5:
When a computer goes bad and decides to kill everyone, lucky us.
Yam head woke up in the middle of the night sourronded by darkness. All he remembered was boot, alchol and an exsplosion.
"those freakin bastards locked me in..........here,"
the
lights turned on reveiling to the yam a old dusty monitor. He was in
some kind of bathroom. Yam head staggered towards the screen feeling
the glass and getting a boner.
"I swear to god if this is a saw parady im ****in eating my ***!"
Offensive bias appeared on screen wearing a paprer bag with crayon all over it.
"Hello yam head, I wanna play a little game."
Bias watched as the yam bent over and took a bit out of something on his lower body.
"Did you just eat your---"
"yeah! Is that a problem?'
"umm no" OB finished.
"you know what.....just get the **** out, just leave" Bias computed.
Yam head shrugged clutched his bloody crotch and crawled back to the Ave.
Bias
turned off the moniter and took out his list of victoms. He tore of the
page that said yam head and threw it into the furnace.
"So much for that, on to the next"
Killer
grunt was having a bad day. First his balls were fried, he blew up, got
his balls fried again and now bias sent him a peice of construction
paper with an invitation to a play date in the old library.
"who the hell reads anymore?" Killer grunt thought.
Killer grunt burst threw the doors of the library expecting to find bias waiting for him. The room was empty.
"I cant beleive I was stood up by a freakin computer!"
Killer grunt's balls retracted when he heard the evil laughter echoing throught out the building.
A computer drifted down from the darkness being held by little bits of strings.
"Hello killer grunt, lets play a game."
Killer grunt was suddenly strapped to a table.
"What the fudge!? How did this happen?" Killer screamed.
Bias chuckled as stupidly as possible.
"Well do to the laziness of the writer we skipped to your demise. Sorry...."
The flame grenadiers began to crawl out of the darkness screaming for killer grunts balls.
"I heard you were having a bad day. My friends want to make your out look......a little brighter so to say"
Bias was being raised as the flame began to engulf killer grunts balls, the screaming gave bias a virtual boner.
"Two down the rest of the avenue to go"
OB awoke. “GodDamnit, I am never drinking
beer…Again!” Ricky was sat across from Bias in a wheelchair. He held
Mendicant by the scruff of his neck, stroking him roughly.
“Hello Bias, we have been expecting you…” Mendicant took a swig of his whisky bottle and wiped his mouth.
“Godamnit
Ricky, when I am asleep, doesn’t mean you can just sit there holding
the dog and staring at me like some kind of stalker! You’re not a
stalker… Are you Ricky?” Ricky eyed Bias cautiously as he slowly stuck
out his leg and pushed a camera back into the shadows.
“No! I’m just… Shut up! It’s not nice to say retarded!”
“I
never said retarded…Retard. W/e, I’m going listening to Reptilia and
then maybe some F.C.P.R.E.M.I.X. In the meantime, don’t do anything you
wouldn’t normally do… I mean… Just sit there for the whole day and
don’t move.”
Bias had put on his paper bag and had drawn a new face with his crayons. He had a list of names. Awsome117 was next on his list…
“Hello
Awsome, I would like to play a game. To your left, is a gun, a hand
grenade, a banana and some tape. The man next to you, is Boot. You have
both done horrible things in your lifetimes. You have killed countless
people for money. Now I give you a chance to redeem yourself. If you
kill Boot before he kills you, you are free. But Boot has an advantage.
He is not shackled to a fat chick. Let the games begin…”
Awsome
woke up “: /” He looked around and tried to move. But he found himself
shackled to a fat girl. She was asleep next a giant tub of popcorn
chicken. He saw Boot awaken with a groan.
“Hey awshome… Whatsh happeningsh?”
“: ?” Awsome saw a tape. He began to play it…
Bias woke up. “Oh my God! I am never watching saw drunk, ever again! In fact! I am never drinking beer…Again!”
Ch6:
Arbiter1000- Elite
Missy (Female Elite and Arbiter's girlfriend.)
Killer Grunt- Grunt
NT- Jackal
Arty- Drone
Omega- Human
OB- Computer
Ricky- Hunter
Thunder- cowboy
Vigil- Human
and Awsome- Human assassin
"So these are the combatants brother?" A mysterious figure asked.
"Yes brother, they most defiantly are!" A wild voice said.
"Teleport them now." The other voice said.
*Halo Wars ave.*
Arbiter, Killer, Vigil, Awsome, Thunder, Ricky, OB, Omega, Missy, NT, Boot,Yamhead, and Arty all decided to go to a local restaurant where they would all go to on certain days of the week.
"I wanna go to Hooters!" Killer complained.
"Shut up midget, we're almost at the restaurant." NT said.
"I'll probably take ya there some other time little buddy." Thunder said in his western accent.
"BOOBS!" Killer shouted with glee.
"That idiot only goes there for ***." OB mumbled. Everyone laughed except Killer.
"I don't only go there for boobs, I go there for burritos." Killer retorted.
"<.<" Awsome said.
"Yeah they sell burritos." Killer said.
Suddenly a hole opened up above them and sucked them all in, now they were all falling through the sky.
"DX" Awsome said.
"I'm to sexy to die!" OB shouted.
Yam's Beer flew away. "MY BUDWEISER!" He yelled.
"I can't die yet! I gotta spend my coupons at Baskin Robbins!" Ricky shouted.
"Ricky! Those are coupons for Mcdonalds!" Vigil said in his raspy, old voice.
"Ha noobs! I can fly!" Arty said opening his wings.
Thunder and NT landed on him.
"Yeeeeehaaaaaaaaa! This is a rodeo!" Thunder shouted.
"STFU you retarded cowboy!" NT shouted.
"I love you Missy!" Arbiter said.
"I know!" She shouted back.
Killer was falling so fast that his ball caught fire. "GODDAMMIT!" He yelled.
Boot was to drunk to do anything.
Just as they were about to hit the ground they were caught by an invisible force, infront of them was a large mansion.
"Where the hell are we?" Vigil asked.
"Why, at the smash Mansion of course." A giant glove said flying up.
"MASTURBATION GLOVE!!" Ricky yelled jumping on the glove and hugging it.
"O.O" Awsome said.
Everyone was in silence. "Ricky, you ***." OB said.
"Um, actually I am the Master hand and I am here to welcome you to the Smashers." Master hand said guiding them inside the mansion.
"Smashers?" Killer asked.
"Why yes, here you get to fight alongside the Nintendo characters for world champion smasher." Masterhand answered.
Everyone looked at each other.
"I might add that for every match you fight in you earn $5,000-$10,000 , even if you lose." Masterhand added.
Everyone huddled together and began talking to each other, a few minutes later they agreed to stay, it was going to be a wacky time at the Smash Mansion.
To be continued......
You may now write chapters on how we all meet certain smashers and fight in matches.
Ch7:
Vigil stood on an old stone bridge, which seemed to go on forever. The sun was setting an in front of him stood a man.
He
was dressed in black, with a flowing cape and carried a large sword.
His hair was short and orange, and he had a weird yellow blob in the
centre of his head.
‘Who the hell are you?’ Vigil said, toying with his lightsaber.
‘I am Ganondorf, lord of Hyrule and soon the world! Who are you?’ he replied.
‘Vigil, master of the dark side since 1962. I’m planning to take over the world, by fooling everybody that I’m nice,’ he said.
‘What a foolish plan, why not just stab them, take their princess and turn into a pig, that works for me,’ Ganondorf said.
‘Because that’s stupid. Who’s afraid of a giant pig? And weren’t you beaten by a little elf kid in green?’ Vigil chuckled.
‘Err….I
don’t speak of that little brat. Who’s not scared of giant pigs? They
remind of a traumatic experience I had when I was a boy, when my father
threw me into a pack of rabid pigs. The murderous oniks they made still
haunt me,’ Ganondorf said.
‘Ok……. So why are you part of the tournament anyway, as the Lord of a world, you’d think you’d have enough money,’ Vigil probed.
‘Ah…about
that, I kinda strapped for cash, mainly due to accidentally turning all
my subjects into zombies. It’s hard to get any money of out them. Tight
swine’s.’
‘So
you’re my first opponent then? This will be fun,’ Vigil said drawing
his lightsaber. The red blade illuminating his evil chin.
‘I’m a recurring villain fool! I can’t die; I’ll just reappear in the sequel muhahahahaha!’ He laughed raising his sword.
Vigil
glided forward and let out a bloodcurdling roar as his lightsaber
impacted Ganondorf sword, and was parried by it. Ganondorf swung his
blade and Vigil leapt over him and stood ready for the next attack.
‘Impressive. But now feel the true power of the dark side’
Lighting
crackled from Vigil’s finger tips, which knocked Ganondorf of balance
and made him twist in agony. Vigil cackled in glee, when Ganondorf
knocked him back with a blast of dark magic.
Vigil’s hood was knocked off and revealed his hideous face. Even Ganondorf didn’t look at him directly.
‘Man that’s the scariest thing I’ve ever seen even more than that pig, how old are you?’ Ganondorf asked.
’20. Why?’ Vigil said as he put his hood back up to conceal his face.
‘You look horrible, like death it’s self,’ Ganondorf said.
‘Well I haven’t had much sleep lately….’ Vigil admitted.
Just
before they could begin their battle again, a large creature riding a
giant pig charged at them, squealing and snarling as it dropped a bomb
on the bridge.
‘Oh
no, not the pigs again. I’m having flashbacks, not the face oinky! I’m
getting out of here!’ Ganondorf said running like a teenage girl off
the bridge.
‘Game over, Vigil is the winner!’ The announcer said.
‘Oh
great, I was just getting ready for my final super awesome death move
to. God when I rule the world, I make sure I get some stupid lackey to
practice it on,’ Vigil curse
Killer Grunt appeared on the bridge and waved to Vigil
‘Hey I just wanted to see how you were doing. Did you win?’
‘Perfect,’ Vigil smirked.
Vigil
let lighting flick at his fingertips as he summoned all his dark power
and aimed it at Killer Grunt. The clouds darkened and a lighting storm
swirled around him and the terrified little grunt.
‘Take my lighting mother f*cker!’ Vigil shouted, as a torrent of lighting rained down on Killer Grunt.
The lighting set Killer Grunt’s balls aflame, and he was propelled of the stage screaming in pain.
Vigil
let out an evil grin and said, ‘Well that was easy, now to win this
puny tournament, then the world! Now where did I leave the keys to the
evil-mobile?’
Ch8:
*Smash Mansion*
After Vigil's victory against Ganondorf everyone was in the buffet room eating. Kirby however was running from a very unhappy Grunt.
"You little S***! YOU ATE MY BURRITOS!!" Killer said running after him.
"OIH! OIH!" Kirby screamed running from the grunt.
"Is he always like that?" Samus asked Boot.
"Nah, hes only like that when 1: Someone takes his burritos, or 2: Someone lights his nuts on fire." Boot answered as Grunt came to a stop as he saw more burritos and started eating them.
"And don't get us started on his final Smash!" Omega said.
NT at the moment was yelling at Sonic for being to cheap.
"YOU F***EN CHEAP S***BAG!" NT yelled.
"You havn't fought me yet so you don't know, heck only Vigil is the one in your group that's fought someone from here." Sonic retorted.
Missy was with Zelda and Peach, and Thunder was talking to Snake about guns, Finally Arbiter1000 and the others were sitting with the rest of the cast from SSBB.
"Why don't you take the mask off? We know you look like Kirby." Arbiter said.
"No I don't." Meta knight answered quickly.
Ricky was playing ring around the rossie with the kids. And Arty was hanging out with Falco until the Master hand appeared.
"Ladies and Gentleman, it is time for the next round. It will be Killer Grunt versus Bowser." Master Hand announced
Killer's eyes went wide and his balls retracted all the way into his body, causing everyone's mouths to fall open and the food to come out.
"I've seen some scary s*** but that's is the scariest thing I've seen!" King Dedede said.
"I agree with you." Mewtwo said.
"Um, well now lets go to the arena." Master Hand said escorting everyone.
In the stands everyone watched as the stage was selected, it was chosen to be New Mombasa.
Killer appeared on the stage followed by a 12 foot dragon/turtle named Bowser.
"WAHAHAHAHA!! Prepare to face the might of the Koopa king!" Bowser shouted.
"Somebody kill me." Killer said looking up at the Koopa.
"READY? GO!" The announcer shouted.
Killer ran to the other side of the stage and threw a plasma grenade at Bowser, dealing 15% damage. Bowser then did a giant jump in the air and smashed Killer with his ass, dealing 20% damage. Killer then did an attack where his balls catch fire and he rams into another character, dealing 20% damage.
"Pretty good for a ***!" Bowser snorted. Bowser than grabbed Killer and threw him off the edge, killer did a double jump and then did fart explosion, an attack that propells him upward and caused him to land on the plateform.
"MY ASS!" Killer shouted grabbing it.
Arbiter, OB, Omega, and NT went into a burst of laughter. Suddenly a smash ball appeared, Bowser jumped at it and slammed into it but didn't break it, then Killer jumped up and broke it.
"I feel funny." Killer said. Suddenly he puffed up like a balloon and began to groan.
"Oh no, Everybody get down!" Thunder yelled.
Suddenly Killer let out a giant, explosive, flaming fart that sent Bowser flying off stage.
"THE WINNER IS! KILLER GRUNT!" The announcer shouted.
A confused Grunt returned back in the stages and was congratulated by everyone.
"Youa beatted Bowsa on your firsta try! Thatsa miracle!" Mario said patting Killer on the back.
"Wait, I beat the dragon?" Killer said confused.
"Yeah, but I wish you had done it a less smelly way." Boot gagged.
Everyone started laughing except for Boot who was in a coma from the gas.
To be continued.
Ch9:
As Boot was walking into the Avenue, returning from a botched arms deal out of town, he noticed something odd.
"Whoah... why is my house a giant crater? Who's been blowing up all those orphanages? Wait a moment.... Where is my stunt double!? Ohh...
he is so in for it! That was my house! I had just gotten the illicit
reactor installed and my explosives factory is gone!"
Boot strode towards the smoking crater that had been his house, when a loud clicking noise stopped him short. It was his Geiger-Counter, and it was measuring lethal doses of Radio-Active Fallout.
"Oh... yeah, reactor.... plus explosion.... Now where'd I leave the extra NBC* Suit?" I think it was at Grunt's house."
He
ran off to Killer Grunt's abode, not noticing the abscence of most of
the usuall neigbors. Once he reached the house and stopped to look
around...
"Hey, where is everybody... Arbiter?! Killer? OB? Anyone?" he shouted, "Oh come on... you can't all be asleep!"
As he stood bewildered and shouting, a small vortex opened quietly above him.
"Hmmm?" he looked up, "What the hell is that?"
Boot
was pulled through the vortex at massive speeds, leaving him a little
dazed when he landed in front of Smash Mansion. After a few moments of
clearing his head, he wandered inside, looking for the rest of his
neighbors, and his out of line stunt double...
Arbiter1000 was lounging in the second story Visitor's Suite, when he noticed someone walking across the lawn.
"I wonder who that could be at this hour?" he remarked.
"What hour? It's broad daylight..." snapped NT.
"Quiet you... and hand me those binoculars."
Grumbling, NT tossed Arbiter the Binocs. As he scanned the yard with them he realized who it was.
"Hey... it's Boot." he stated, somewhat puzzled, "I thought he was out of town."
"Guess he's back." replied Killer Grunt, "Maybe we can get rid of that boozy double we hired."
"Sure thing... I'm gonna go get something to eat though..."
"Hey Killer, mind if I help?" shouted Arty, "I've got this great idea!"
"Come on then Arby! I'm not going to wait to long!"
"It's Arty not Arby!"
"What ever!" Just tell me the plan already" snapped Grunt.
As Boot walked in the front door, he met OB and Ricky, who were getting rum and cola for the people watching the next round.
"Hey Boot, back from that arms deal?" OB asked.
"Yeah, time to get rid of the stunt double though, he blew up my house! And my weapon's cache!"
"No more exploding shallmaas?" whined Ricky.
"Shut up, Ricky... God... I hate him some times...." sighed OB.
"So want to help me get rid of the double?" Boot questioned.
"I'm
pretty sure that's taken care of..." OB replied, and as if to punctuate
his point, a window upstairs crashed, as Grunt and Arty cheered. A
resounding thump followed, to the background of louder cheering.
"Seems like everything is back to normal, but what's going on here?"
"Oh...
we're in some gameshow, where we compete with those guys from
Nintindoworld, and each other... it's a kind of survivor/fight
competition. But either way, even if we lose we still get a few
thousand dollars as a consolation prize." OB stated.
"Ok... cool. I'm game for it."
"I thought you'd be... want to watch the next round? We've got rum."
"Sure thing..."
Ch10:
"The next round will be... Omega and Alpha-Epsilon vs. Kirby
and Metaknight."
"What, how did they know about Alpha? And why do I have to
fight two of them, Alpha's just a hologram." Omega grumbled and slipped into
his armor. "This should be great."
"Oh cheer up, this could make a great..."
"No LFF's Alpha, just stop trying."
"But, but..."
"No, that's final." Omega walked towered the teleport into
the arena. The level select spinner rolled and stopped on a little town.
"The next level will be, Halo Wars Ave." The ghostly announcer...
well... announced.
"Ha, home turf. This should be cake Alpha."
"Sure, you tell yourself that..."
"Shut up Alpha, hey Boot, pass me some of that rum."
"No," Boot yelled, "Get your own."
"Dammit..."
The announcer came back on, "The round begins in three... two...
one..." Suddenly Omega was teleported back home. It was just as he remembered it,
right up to Boot's smoking crater.
"Alright Alpha, you take shiny with sword, and I'll take
pink and marshmellowey." Omega drew his sidearm and moved towered Kirby. "Hey
golf ball, how do you like lead?" He raised his gun and pulled the trigger. The
round roared and flew straight into Kirby's waiting mouth. The marshmallow swallowed
three rounds. "I assume you like it very well. Alpha, new plan, you take them
both."
"Kind of busy right now," Alpha said. Omega turned and saw
Metaknight slashing at Alpha's hologram.
"Why... can't... I... hit you!" The metal blob swung his sword,
disrupting the image for no more then a second.
Omega looked back and saw the crater again. "Hey Alpha, I
got an idea." He sent Alpha the image and started running to the crater. "Hey
mush ball, come get dinner." Kirby took after Omega, both running straight into
the crater. Suddenly, Kirby stopped. "Ha, how does radiation suit you?" He laughed
as Kirby fell over and was automatically transported back home. "Hey Alpha, how
are things on your end?"
"Fine, your plan worked well." Omega turned and saw
Metaknight dissolve into the transportation beam.
Suddenly, the announcer came back, "A New Challenger has
entered the Map"
Samus dissolved out of the teleport. "Aw ***, just our luck
aye Alpha?"
Samus jumped in the air and fired 4 missiles at Omega, he barely dodges them.
"When did you learn to shot B****?!" Omega shouted.
Now samus was pissed, no one got away with calling her b****.
"You punk, prepare to die." Samus yelled firing her charged up laser.
Omega was hit by a giant ball of energy and felt 100,000 volts course through his body, fortunately the volts struck a certain nerve and gave omega a boner.
"*** electricity always does that!" Omega shouted as the boner left.
They both ran at eachother and slammed their fist into the others face, both went flying off stage.
"DRAW!" The announcer said.
Everyone was to shocked to say anything. Samus, a veteran Smasher, had her strength matched by a rookie.
As Omega teleprted back into the stands the residents of HW were waiting for him.
"Girl got ya in the face good bud, y'all alright?" Thunder asked.
"Yeah I am." Omega said.
Out of the corner of his ete he saw Samus staring at him, when she realized he saw her she blushed and walked away.
Wonder whats that about? Omega thought.
To be continued.....
Chapter 11: Awsome's time to shine :P
After Omega's
match, everyone went back to the food court. Killer and kirby were
fighting, as they were both sucking in food like vacuums, and kirby ate
burritos. Killer was caseing kirby shouting:
"You pick marsmellow! Stop eating my burritos!"
"Oih! Oih!" went kirby
Marth and Arty were watching when Marth said:
"Why do you hang out with him?"
"We don't, he just keeps following us..." Said Arty, drinking some soda
"Oh..." replied Marth, eating a sandwhich
"Wait a second... how can you speak english; you're Japenese!" Said Arty
"About that... OH MY GOD! LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!" Marth shouted
"What?! Is it clowns?! Not clowns! I hate clowns!" Said Arty in a fetal position
Marth was running away now. Boot and Samus were sitting togother, watching the whole thing.
"Is anything normal with you people?" Samus asked boot
"Nope, and I dont care..." Boot said, drinking some Rum.
"So, come here often?" He asked Samus
"Are you hitting on me?" Samus replied
"What if I am?" He question
Samus pointed her gun at his face and said:
"I will blow your face off..." Charging her cannon
"Noted" Boot said, taking another sip of his Rum.
Arby
was eating some hot dogs, when he noticed Awsome and Link on a couch
making lots of hand movements. He went over to them and said:
"Yo"
":)" replied Awsome
"Why so Happy?" asked Arby
"HEY! LISTEN!" said a voice
"Oh...no" Said Arby, slapping his face
Just then, A blue fairy ball appeared out of Link's hat. It was floating around his head saying "HEY LISTEN!"
"Why are you here?" Asked Arby
"because Link cant talk." repied the annoying Fairy
"So Awsome found someone just like him eh?" Arby said with a chuckel
":P" went Awsome
Link shoke his head. Those two idoits are perfect for each other. Just then, Master hand appeared and shouted:
"SILENCE!"
This caused Boot to spill his beer.
"My rum!" He said, trying to wipe the drink off his shirt.
Grunt was trying to grab Kirby, who was floating in the air, when he said:
"YAY! Masterbastion glove is back!"
"You dumshit. Its not a masterbastion glove!" Scoulded NT
"The next match is about to begin; which is Awsome and Link" Said Master hand
Awsome and Link got up, and were heading towards the area when Arty shouted:
"Wait, you're a glove, how can you talk!?"
"because I said so..." replied Master hand
"But that makes--"He started unitl Master Hand said:
"I have spoken!" and left the food court
"This place gets weirder and weider..." Said Arby
"Welcome to the neirborhood" Boot said, still trying to clean his shirt
Awsome
and Link just shrugged, as they jumped into the portal to the area.
They landed on Final Destination, which Awsome did not like.
":(" went Awsome
"Why is Awsome upset?" Asked Arty
"Because he is an assasin, and he cant hide on an open map, dumbass" said NT, folding his arms.
"I got Fifty bucks on Link!" Said Boot
"I'll get in on that action!" said Omega, waving around a twenty
">:(" Awsome went
"Let the Match begin!" Shouted Master Hand
Link
pulled out his sword, and Awsome pulled out a blue lightsaber. They
both lundged at eachother, causing 15% damage each. Then Link jumped
in the air, trying to his sword bomb, but Awsome rolled out of the way
in time. Awsome went to slice Link, but he used his shield to block
it. Just then, a crate fell from the sky, both went for it. Awsome
Jumped on Links head, causing Link to become dizzy and stop.
Awsome opened the box, and found killer grunt.
"What!? How te hell did I get here!?" A confused grunt asked
":P" went Awsome as he picked him up and lit his balls on fire. He then threw him at link.
"Why
me?" said grunt as he collided with link, causing 20% damage. Another
thing fell, from the sky, it was a capsule. But Link didn't go for it,
instead he charged at Awsome, he didn't have his lightsaber out yet.
He had a direct hit at Awsome causeing 25% damage, pushing him all the
way to the edge.
":O" Awsome went, as he was trying to gain his balance. Link came up, and pushed him off.
"Yes! Someone owes me fifty bucks" Went Boot
Link
turned around, confused as to why the match was not over. Little did
he, and the others, know, Awsome was still hanging on to the edge, like
a true assassin. Just then, he pulled him self up, did a back flip in
the air, landed on Link's head, and ran for the capsule. Awsome
grabbed it, and threw it at Link, causing 10% damage, and reveiling a
Power Orb.
":(" went Awsome
Link slashed at it, but it
didnt break. He keeped hitting it, but still nothing. He threw any
item at it, but the thing would not break. Link became tired, and the
orb floated towards Awsome. He touched it, and it expolded.
"AW! Come on!" went Boot
">:)"
he said as he glowed. the sky grew dark, waiting to activate his super
power. As he raised his hands in the air, a large shadow appeared over
Link. A confused Link Looked up, and his eyes widened to the size of
baseballs. A humoungous fat girl landed on Link, causing 999% damage,
and sending Link flying off the stage.
"Winner!" Said Master Hand
No one heard him, as they were rolling on the floor, laughing their heads off.
"That...that looks like Awsome's last girlfriend!" Said Arby laughing
"No, no! She's too skinny to be!" Said Ob holding onto his sides.
">:(" went Awsome as he came back to the food court
"hey, hey Awsome, where did you meet her!" Arty said as he burst into laughter
"Oh yay, you still have to pay Awsome as you lost the bet..." went Marth
">:)" went Awsome
Everyone grunted as they paid him.
"I hate you all" went Arby as he paid
what's in store for next time? hell if I know...
to be continued...duh...
ch13 (chapter # switched with chapter after.) :
"Can't
believe I'm out twenty bucks, *** you Awesome, *** you!" Omega grumbled and
headed back to his room.
"XD"
"Shut up,
you cheated, I know it," Omega yelled as he turned the corner. He moved down
the hall a little ways until he noticed Samus, her armor gone thanks to Boot. "Oh,
uh... hi?" Omega couldn't stop himself. Samus wore a bright blue skin-suit and
boots. She didn't say anything, and walked into his room.
_____________________
"And I'll
leave the rest of the night to your imagination," Omega said the next morning.
">:(" Awesome
said.
"Shut it,
we all know you have no imagination." Omega grinned and leaned back in his
seat. "I'd like you see one of you do better."
"Next round
starts in half an hour." The giant hand said.
"Hey
masturbation glove!" Killer jumped up and hugged the glove. It then proceeded
to light Killer's balls on fire and flick him out a window.
"The match
will be a rematch between Omega and Samus."
"Ha, we'll see how good your night
helps you now." Boot smirked and swigged some more out of his glass.
"Oh great,"
Omega began to bang his head against the table. "Alright, lets get this over
with." He walked to the teleport and ran into Samus. She still didn't have her
armor and... "Uh... hi?" She blushed and walked into the teleport. Omega hung his
head and walked in after her.
Suddenly a
cityscape appeared from the light. "Oh, fun... Let's see..." He checked his belt
and pulled out the pistol.
Meanwhile, back in the lounge:
"I got my
money on boner boy." Boot said, swigging more beer.
"Ha, he'll
be too distracted, my money's on the chick," Arbiter grinned and pulled out a
fifty. The halls erupted in bets.
Now back to the action:
"*** narrator.
Alright, where are you." Omega turned a corner and smacked right into her. They
both fell over and stared at each other. "Dammit, they have a sick sense of
humor." He sighed and offered Samus a hand up. "How ‘bout we call it a draw?"
She nodded, and Omega turned and walked towered the
teleport. Suddenly, a gun clicked behind him. He rolled just as Samus fired a round
just past his head.
"I don't
draw twice," She said, rolling behind a building for cover.
"Hmmm, I
guessed that..." He said, picking his pistol back up. The lights dimmed and a
glowing orb flew in from the east. "Got you," he said, firing at the orb. It
shattered, flowing energy into Omega. He looked down, "Dammit... not again."
Samus rolled from cover and fired a few shots. "Alright, let's finish this."
Omega raised his hands, drawing in the energy. "Fire!" Omega disappeared off
the stage as MAC rounds impacted the city sending Samus flying off stage.
"And the
winner is, Omega."
Omega and
Samus walked out of the teleport hand-in-hand. She smiled at him and then
waltzed off to a group of Nintendoids. "Whoa, that was intense."
Boot
laughed, "You owe me some money Arbiter." Arbiter grumbled and handed some cash
to Boot. "Great job Boner Boy."
Omega
smirked, "At least I got the girl, you just drew with her."
"The next
round will begin tomorrow. Will someone get this *** grunt off me?"
"Yay,
masturbation hand!"
Ch12:
The following day...
The Master Glove appeared... the next challengers were to be selected
"Masturbation Glove!" shouted Ricky, "I missed your shallazamy goodness!"
As the giant hand tried to shake off the retarded hunter OB yelled at Ricky to get down and stop humping the Glove.
Arbiter had found the mansions kitchen and was using the giant cast iron range to set Grunt's balls on fire... again. NT was flaming anyone and everyone who approached his room.
Thunder
was trying to convince Arty-not-Arby to lasso the giant hand for him
and Omega was looking around to see if Samus was stalking him...
Boot
had made a couch fort and stashed several bottles of rum, a belt of
grenades and a box of ramen noodle packages in there, along with an oil
burner... and was now peering out from inside.
Finally
shaking off Ricky, the Master Glove made his announcment, "The next
round will be.... Donkey Kong versus Boot! The next match starts in ten
minutes! Combatants.... Prepare!"
"Boot... what are you doing?" asked Arbiter, who had finished grilling Grunt's gonads...
"I'm gonna get you for that Arbiter!... Just you wait!" Quavered Killer Grunt.
Boot,
in response to Arbiter's question grinned, and hefted up a Javelin
AT-Missile Launcher, "Oh... I'm just preparing... Now help me find
those Molotov Cocktails I made last night."
As Boot and Arbiter began gathering all of the explosives, launchers and various fire-arms, the Master Glove reappeared..
"Combantant, are you ready?"
Hefting up a large duffel bag, Boot replied, "Yep... Let's get going."
"Let the match... BEGIN!" announced the Glove.
Boot
was teleported to edge of a forest, and Donkey Kong to the other side
of the woods. The Audience, watching via a floating camera began
placing bets at the mansion casino.
"500 dollars on Boot!" shouted someone from the crowd.
"650 on Donkey Kong!" shouted one of the Nintendoids.
"700 on both of them!" yelled OB..."I'm covering my bases."
"Quick! Quick! The match is starting!" shouted Arty.
They
watched as Boot began unpacking the contents of his bag, pulling
out the Javelin, a box of grenades, some Claymore Mines... and one of
the longest guns they'd ever seen.
"Well, time to put the M107 to good use," thought Boot to himself, chuckling.
After
planting some mines around the base, he climbed up a tall tree in the
middle of the clearing and began scanning the surrounding forest for
Donkey Kong.
"Let's see how that ape likes six inches of lead." he muttered...
A
resounding crash and a reverbrating thump marked where Donkey Kong had
begun moving through the forest... smashing anything in his way. A few
birds flew up from their roost, as the trees nearby began to quaver and
shake before the gorrilla's onslaught. Kong moved closer to the edge
and Boot sighed, picked up the Javelin... sighted... and fired the
missile.
The missile
flew out of the barrel, got to the right distance and the engines sped
it towards the forest... Boot dropped the launcher, picked up his
Sniper rifle and waited. The explosion ripped through the forest... but
Donkey Kong charged out, singed but alive.
Boot
took a shot... hit Kong in the arm, took another shot as Kong twirled
around, and hit him square in the back. Donkey Kong went down and was
teleported out of the arena.
The Glove appeared and said, "New Challengers, Double round!"
Samus and Sonic were teamed up against Boot... who was now stuck in a tree.
"***..."
Boot swore, dropping his rifle and picking up and MP5... he climbed
into the top of the tree and took what cover was available. Sonic began
rushing towards the tree, only to set off the Claymores... the 60ft
spread of shrapnel took the hedgehog out of the game... leaving Samus
to take down.
Boot
peered around the branch, only to pull back before Samus could get a
clear shot... the energy pulses hammered into the tree around Boot's
hiding spot. He tossed a frag grenade towards where he thought she
was and jumped down from the tree, using the blast as cover.
The
ploy failed and Boot took a direct hit to the chest... as he lay
stunned on the ground... Samus strode over to finish him off. He faked
the stunned appearance until she was standing right next to him, and he
pulled out a clacker.
"You didn't think I hadn't set more than one mine, did you?" he smirked as he clicked the detonator.
A few minutes after the explosion, the Master Glove appeared...
"This
round is a Draw. Donkey Kong and Sonic have been eliminated from the
game, Boot and Samus are still in the game... we will procede to the
next match, and new combatants... Tomorrow!"
"Yeah...
well can you get Samus off of me already... that armor of her's is
heavy... and theres not much I can do about it since my arms are
pinned..." snapped Boot.
"Quiet you... if you hadn't screwed up my armor with that mine, we wouldn't be stuck here." she growled.
"Well up your's t-"
As they bickered, the Master Glove sighed and teleported them back to the mansion.
"-o." finished Boot.
"Need some help Boot?" snickered OB.
"Just get Samus off of me..."
"Sure, Sure... Ricky!"
As
Ricky bounded in, helped Boot and Samus up and proceded to say
something stupid, life got back on to normal.... or as normal as it
gets in Halo Wars Avenue.
Ch14:
Everyone was in the living rooom watching the recent battles in the tournament.
"Hey Zelda, how come the losers are still here?" NT asked.
"Well their not exactly losers yet, you know what football is right, well that's how the smash battles are like, during the semi-finals Master Hand and Crazy hand tally up the wins and loses for each contestant and whoever 10 has the most wins or least loses enters the semi-finals." Zelda explained.
"Oooooh, now I get it." Missy said listening to the talk.
Suddenly a large glove with wildly moving fingers appeared.
"Masturbation glove?" Ricky asked.
"Ricky, is that you?" The hand asked as it stopped wiggling its fingers.
"YES!" Ricky shouted jumping on the glove hugging.
"Old buddy! Its really you!" The glove said hugging him back with his pinkie.
"O_o' " Awsome said.
Just then a second hand appeared. 'Ah I see you've all met Crazy hand now." Master hand said.
Everyone nodded.
"Well I'm here to tell you today's match is a team match, Arbiter1000 and Olimar vs Pikachu and Lucas." Master hand announced.
"Alright! Finally some action!" Arbiter said slamming his fist into his open palm as Olimar's eyes went wide.
The 4 were teleported to Lylat Crusier.
"Stick with me little dude and we can win." Arbiter said pulling out a fuelrod gun, fired it, and hit Pikachu and Lucas with it.
Olimar picked 2 more pikmin and followed Arbiter into action, throwing a purple pikmin on Lucas stunning him and hitting Pikachu with a red one burning it. Arbiter then picked up Olimar and threw him at Lucas, when Olimar collided with Lucas he caused heavy damage to Lucas.
"OW! THAT HURT REALLY BAD!" Lucas cried.
A pissed pikachu called down a thunder from a cloud hitting Arbiter to avenge Lucas's pain.
"Ow.....that hurt......." Arbiter said twitching.
In the crowd a very pissed Missy was being held back by 10 of the smashers.
"NO CAN DO THAT TO MY ARBY! I'LL KILL THAT RAT!" A pissed female Elite roared.
" You have to sit down! You'll piss off the hand!" Snake said holding her by an arm.
"Yah lady! The hand gets really scary when this kind of stuff happens!" Diddy Kong said holding her by the leg.
On stage Arbiter was back up and fighting, suddenly a smash ball appeared. Arbiter and Olimar both hit it at the same time and began to glow.
"DUAL SMASH!!" The announcer cried.
Arbiter pulled out 2 energy sword and slashed Pikachu and Lucas into the air, suddenly Olimar in his ship appeared and slammedinto the 2 launching them off stage.
"GAME!! THE WINNER IS ARBITER1000 AND OLIMAR!!" The announcer said.
Everyone congradulated the victors but Arbiter saw a sad Lucas walking away. He walked over to him.
"Hey kid whats wrong? Are you upset you lost.?" Arbiter asked kneeling down to him.
A sad Lucas shook his head yes.
"Listen Lucas, just because you lost today doesn't mean you'll lose tommorow." Arbiter said.
"Its that I lose every time Arbiter." Lucas said looking at him.
Arbiter sighed and looked away before looking back. " If you ever need a friend, a sparring partner, hell even a team mate in a double brawl I'll always be there to help OK?" Arbiter said placing a hand on Lucas's head.
A smiling Lucas looked up at him and nodded his head yes.
"Great! Now lets go back to the others, Yam owes me money for winning that match." Arbiter said looking at Yam.
Just then Killer ran by with his nuts aflame and Yoshi chasing after him with a hose.
"Or we could help Yoshi put out Killer's nuts." Arbiter said smirking as he and Lucas chased Yoshi and Killer.
CH15:
A Peaceful Day in Smash Mansion...
Arbiter and Lucus were trying to help Yoshi douse the flames on Killer
Grunt's Balls, OB was zooming around in his new remote car... Ricky was
being Ricky and NT was still flaming anyone who went near him.
Kirby
was taking the opportunity to eat all of Grunt's burritos while he was
busy, while Link and Awesome were communicating... somehow. Thunder had
roped Bowser and was now trying to use him as a rodeo horse, Arty was
sitting at the bar and laughing at Thunder and Sonic was ordering a
stiff double.
Boot and Samus were taking potshots at each other from each end of the
hallway to the guest rooms, and Omega was trying to sneak by and get
back to his room. Yamhead was placing a bet on who would fight next,
Vigil was plotting world dominion... and most of the Nintendoids were
hanging out at the pool.
"Booot!
Samus! I need to get back to my room, do y'think that you could stop
shooting at each other long enough for me to do that?" wailed Omega.
Boot
and Samus failed to hear him over the clatter of Boot's MP5 and the
buzz of Samus's energy cannon. Boot rolled a grenade down the hallway
and took cover... the explosion roared out of the hall way... lighting
Grunt's Gonads back on fire... just a few minutes after he had doused
them out.
"Goddamnit! Why me?!" Grunt screamed, "Boot! I'll get you back for that!"
"Hey! It was an accident!"
"I don't care!"
While Boot had been distracted by Killer Grunt, Samus had snuck up the hallway, so when he turned around....
"Oh...
crap." he muttered, just before getting booted in the face. As he went
down, she kicked him a couple of times in the stomach.
"That's for ruining my armor with those mines!" she spat.
"Owwww...." Boot groaned, as she kicked him again. "You know... they've probably fixed it by now.... so would you stop kicking me?"
Omega... finally being able to get to his room and get some clothing walked over...
"Hey, Omega... mind getting your girlfriend to stop kicking me?" Boot grunted.
Samus
kicked him again... harder this time. Omega tapped her on the shoulder
and got her to calm down, and Boot picked himself up off the floor,
dusted himself off, nodded to the couple of them and limped off to the
couch.
"He's okay...
he'd probably be a little more friendly if you didn't hold a grudge
against him so much." said Omega, "Oh well, want to get something to
eat?"
Samus nodded and they walked off towards the kitchens.
Arbiter...
who had set up a Coleman Grill and was making steak and fries had his
usual kiss the cheif apron on. Missy was preparing a salad, while Arty
was treating Thunder's rodeo injuries.
After a while, the steak was done and the table set... everyone got ready to sit down and eat, while Arbiter set the table...
To be continued....
ch16:
OB awoke with a groggy headache. “I am never drinking
beer again!” He said as he lifted a bottle of strongbow to his lips.
“Wait a minute! I have hands? And lips? OMG! I HAVE A BODY!!!” The door
to his room opened as Vigil came to check the commotion. “Oh crap! Who
the hell are you and where is Bias?!” He drew his lightsaber and tried
to kill Bias with it.
“Wait! Vigil! Fu**!” He swore as he dodged another blow. “Vigil stop!!!! I am Bias!”
“What? Explain yourself!”
“I must have been given a body by the Master Glove thingy.”
“Then you are playing today.”
“Oh crap!”
“Don’t panic! I have a good hunch that you will pull through.”
“So you really think he’ll win?” Questioned Boot.
“No, not a prayer.”
Bias had been announced a few seconds ago. He was busy stuffing money into the betting box.
“OB, what are you doing?” Thunder had looked concerned.
“I’m betting on Mario.”
Bias
was in the arena with Mario now. Mario jumped into the air and landed
in front of Bias. He punched and kicked him for all it was worth but
never managed to make Bias move. Bias then simply farted and blew Mario
off screen. He heard Mario scream as he disappeared. Bias looked
around. “Did I just win? Huh. Boot! Give me back my money!” The master
Glove appeared and declared Bias the winner. Bias sat down at the bar
with a beer in his hands. “I hope I can keep the body. It rocks.” NT
took a look at Bias and smashed a bottle over his head in a rather
casual way. “OW! You fucktard! What the hell!” NT just stood and walked
off. Bias turned around and saw Boot staring at him.
“What? Is there something on my face?”
“No dude. It’s just normal for people to wear cloths.”
“Oh right.” Bias turned away from Boot and continued drinking as though nothing had been said.
Ch17:
Yam head just lost another bet on mario beating bias in the next
fight. He found the little guy sitting on a green pipe, jumping
occasionally to dodge a plant monster.
"You italian ****tard! How
did you loose? The guy was half drunk during the fight, not to mention
he gows about killing people with sadisticall games!"
"Itsa me, mario!"
"Yeah, I can freakin tell by your red plumber suit,"
Arbiter 1000 called everyone to the table.
"Oh great, more stomach aches,"
Mario jumped off the pipe landing on yoshi.
"Itsa me, mario!" Mario proclaimed speeding off to get some BBQ.
Yam
head spent the rest of his monopoly money on the next match, all on
sonic of course. Yam head walked pass awsome who was playing charades
with some of the nintendo characters trying to tell them something. Yam
head walked inbetween awsome and the ninedonites.
"He trying to tell you your all ***!" Yam head said running off.
:( awsome cried out as every nintendo brawler took turns beating the living crap out of him.
Just then master hand floated in ready to announce the next match.
Yam head shoved the food down his mouth, Its not going to be me and who ever sonic is facing-- he better kick their ass.
"The next match will be between sonic the hedgehog and Yam head." Master hand proclaimed.
Yam head spit out all his food all over ricky. Ricky moaned
"Im all sticky.....and not the good kind of sticky either!"
"Thats what she said." boot said walking by.
Yam head just looked around wishing he wasnt a yam or a head.
"The fight will take place in here" Master hand said holding up a DS.
Yam
head and sonic were sucked into the DS appearing on a giant projection
screen surrounded by a whie void. Lines started to show up forming
little platforms. Yam head knew they were in picto chat, what worried
him more was that his friends and neighbors held the DS. Vigil was
first to draw the battle field.
Yam head leapt up to the nearest
platform, knowing vigil could be trusted. Just then the platform
dissapeard and Yammy fell flat on his face dealing 5% damage. Yam
screamed out mindless swears, something about little kids and monoploy
money. Sonic ran rings around yam head over and over untill he stopped
landing on solid ground. He looked at the yam shaking his finger doing
a taunt.
"Your to slow, your to slow, your to slow, your to slow, your to slow"
Yam
head statred screaming chucking random vegatables all over the stage
dealing 15% damage to sonic. The stage changed to a giant smiley face,
no doubt awsome drew it. Sonic caught caught in the eyes while yam head
turned into a snorelax proceeded to wail on the hedgehog. The satge
then changed to words. A big arrow pointed at Yam head with words
above 'I like it up the butt'. Yam head started to curse even
more throwing more food dealing 20% damage to sonic. Yam head grabbed
the nearest pokeball turning into a weedle (dont care if you cant in
the came) Yam head wandered over to the dazed sonic.
"Ima chargin
my poisin sting, Woop da shoop!" Yam head swore as his poisned needle
impaled sonic knocking him clean off the stage.
"The winner is Yam head!" Master hand proclaimed.
Yam head was sucked out of the DS immediatly running off to the atm.
"Where
are you going!?" Arbiter 1000 called out. Yam head just looked at him,
smiled and said "Im going to get more monopoly money of course!"
Ch18:
Vigil
stood impatiently in the middle of a military facility of some sort. It
was cold and snow was falling all around him. Two guard posts closed
the area of and a searchlight was darting from side to side,
occasionally focusing on him.
It
was then Vigil saw a figure creeping in the shadows. He was dressed in
a grey skin-tight suit which ammunition attached to it. He wore a
bandana, which flowed out behind him in the wind. He stroked the
stubble on his face and crouched down and started talking to thin air.
‘Colonel,
I got a strange liking guy here, he’s dressed in some kind of black
robe. He kinda gives me the creeps,’ the grizzly voice of the man in
front of him said.
‘That’s
Vigil Snake, he from Halo Wars, be careful, he may look good, but he’s
a master of the dark side of the force. Watch your back,’ a voice said
from Snake’s ear.
‘The force? That odd hokey religion, you’re kidding right?’ Snake replied.
‘No
Snake, I am not joking, it makes him incredibly powerful, and gives him
a variety of abilities, such increased speed, strength and resilience,
the ability to create lighting, and much more, he’s a deadly opponent Snake.’ The Colonel replied.
‘Are you done talking into your ear yet? I can hear you from all the way over here,’ Vigil said, getting annoyed.
‘Huh? He can hear us? Can he read minds like Psycho Mantis?’ Snake asked.
‘No
I you just speak so loud, half the world could hear you. It’s a miracle
you haven’t been discovered when you’re doing that,’ Vigil snapped.
‘Get going Snake, show him what you made of,’ the Colonel said.
‘Understood, I’ll stop him,’ Snake said.
‘Oh and Snake?’
‘What?’ Snake asked.
‘La li lu le lo! La li lu le lo! La li lu le lo!’ The Colonel replied.
‘Colonel, what’s gotten in to you?’ Snake asked.
‘I
hear it’s amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space
with the tuning fork does a raw blink on Hara-kiri Rock. I need
scissors! 61!’ The Colonel replied in a slightly odd robotic voice.
‘Colonel snap out of it. Colonel! COOOOOOOOOOOOOOLONNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLL!’ Snake shouted.
‘Ummm……okay, so are we going to fight or what?’ Vigil asked.
‘Huh? Right,’ Snake said as he turned and face Vigil.
Snake
fired his rocket launcher, and missiles flew at Vigil, who simply
raised one outstretch palm and using the force deflected them. Snake
threw grenades, which again, Vigil simply threw aside.
Snake
was growing frustrated and so he charged at Vigil, he brought his fist
back, and then brought it straight into Vigil’s chest as he yelled,
‘FALCOOOON PUNCH!’
Vigil was knocked back, and broke one of the watchtowers. Rubble surrounded him, as he rose to his feet and dusted himself off.
‘Is that the best you can do?’ Vigil sneered.
Snake growled and charged again, gun in hand.
Vigil
decided he had had enough of this nuisance and raised one hand and
Force Choked Snake. He gurgled and grunted as Vigil calmly walked to
the edge of the stage and then using all his dark power flung Snake off.
Snake yelled as he was propelled backward.
‘OCTAAAACON!’ Snake shouted.
‘Snake? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!’ Octacon shouted.
‘SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!’ Mei Ling shouted
‘SNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!’ the Colonel shouted.
‘KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!’ Captain Kirk yelled.
‘Dude, what the hell are you doing?’ Vigil asked, staring at the portly middle aged captain.
‘I don’t know, I just wanted to join in, do you want to be my friend now?’ Kirk said.
‘Oh God no. Get the hell out of here, before I break your spine,’ Vigil said.
As
Kirk walked off, he heard the announcer declare his victory. He was
just about to leave, when he saw Killer Grunt go running by; his balls
on fire.
It started to rain, which doused the flames, and Killer Grunt stood next to him panting for breath.
‘What happened to you?’ Vigil asked.
‘You don’t wanna know,’ Killer Grunt said.
‘Fine, let’s go, I forgot my Umbrella of Doom this morning, and this robe is a pain in the ass to dry.’
They disappeared into the vortex and back to the mansion.
Ch19: The battle against Tabuu (part 1)
It had been 2 months since the citizens of Halo Wars ave. arrived and now it was the semi-finals, the last 10 contestants were Arbiter1000, Vigil, Omega, Zelda, Yoshi, Sonic, Mario, Yoshi, Luigi, and somehow Killer Grunt.
" Who wants to bet that Killer's gonna die?" Yam shouted.
"And who wants to bet that Vigil's gonna win?" NT shouted.
Just hen a loud noise was heard, the Mansion shook, and then darkness.
"What the F*** was that?!" Arty shouted.
"EEEECK GET OFF ME!" Missy shouted as she slapped Arbiter on accident.
Just then Mario lite some large candles with fireballs. "Therea we go! Nowa we gotta soma light!" Mario said as the candles brightened the dark space.
"OMG WTF BBQ! LOOK OUT THE WINDOW!" Killer shouted. Outside was complete darkness with large plateforms everywhere. Just then the Mansion disappeared from around the Smashers, they were now on a large plateform.
"WAH!" Yoshi cried as he realized they were outside with no house.
"OH OH! (How did we get out here?)" DK asked.
"Obviously there magic at work you idiot." Wolf hissed.
Just then something in the distance appeared, it was the shape of a blue floating man.
"Hey look someones here to help." Luigi said as he started running to the creature.
" Luigi! Noa!" Mario shouted.
As the blue creature sent out a glowing blade cut Luigi dodged it and Mario hit the slah shattering it.
"SO YOU ARE THE FAMOUS SMASHER." The voice boomed.
"Yeah, whats it to yah?" Bowser snorted.
"SO YOU ARE ALL THAT STANDS BETWEEN ME AND WORLD DOMINATION, I SHALL ENJOY WATCHING YOUR DEATHS." The voice boomed as wings that glowed rainbow appeared and began to shine brightly. Just before he could attack a missile and lightning hit his wings. A everyone looked up Crazy Hand and Master Hand appeared.
AH, MASTER HAND AND CRAZY HAND, GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN." The creature said as it crossed one arm and rested his other arms elbow on it and resting his chin on his fist.
"Like wise Tabuu." Master said with venom in his voice.
"wait, who's Tabuu?" Omega asked.
"Tabuu, a being of pure darkness that once almost submerged the many Universes in darkness but was stopped by Me and Master hand, it was said that if he were to return again the Universes would have to unite to stop him." Crazy hand said answering Omega.
"Really masturbation glove?" Ricky asked.
"IT IS TRUE LITTLE BEING, AND NOW TIME FOR YOUR DEATHS HANDS." Tabuu said as his Wings began to glow again.
The hands fingers began to flux electricity as they prepared to fight. Tabuu fired 2 beams from his wings but the hands dodged them, they fired lightning from their fingers but Tabuu flew into the air, as the hands looked up they saw Tabuu come flying down and fire more lasers at them, they dodged them as the flew into the air, it looked as if they were still as they fell to the ground with the hands fingers fluxing with electricity and Tabuu's wings with energy, as they landed both sides fired large masses of energy and began to fight, slowly Tabuu's mass over took the hands and slammed into them, knocking them into a coma.
"GLOVES!!" Ricky shouted as he looked at them
" AND NOW, IT IS YOUR TURN." Tabuu said as his wings began to flow with power again, just then multiple objects hit Tabuu's wings causing them to shatter.
"Not just yet." A voice said.
As everyone turned around they looked to see Master Chief, The Prophet of Truth, Tarturus, The Arbiter, Turok, Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, Tails, Shadow, Knuckles, Marcus, Dom, RAAM, Skorge, Nightmare, Maxi, and many other heroes and villians standing with them.
"I know we need all the help we can get, but why are there villians and heroes working together?" Yam asked.
"At all times you ask that? Fine I'll tell you, we all called an alliance to fight a common enemy." Tarturus answered pointing at Tabuu.
"IT DOES NOT MATTER, YOU SHALL ALL DIE EITHER WAY." Tabuu answered as thousands of shadow-like creatures appeared.
"The amount of your forces will not help you win this fight." Darth Vader said igniting his lightsaber, followed by his son.
The shadows and army of heroes and villians faced eachother ready to attack.
"Close your eyes ladies, this is gonna hurt." Arbiter1000 said as the battle was about to begin.
To be continued.
You now will write about the second part of the battle against the show army, you mat have other heroes or villians I did not name in it, and you must end it as we're about to fight a giant Tabuu.
Revenge of the Covenant 3: The fall of Earth
The beginning of the ends starts now.