My new fan-fic :)

              

                                                        Prologue

                                                  1200 hours

                                                  aboard the UNSC Aegis Fate

                                   "You boys got here just in time,we're about to go through the portal,"Captain Devin Allen said to Coroporal Riz and Sergeant Paul Varner."Sir,with all due respect,we might not survive the pass through,"Varner implied."Oh,yes we will,if some God forsaken Elites made it,we'll make it,"Allen replied."No,dont-"Varner said as the frigate shook as the engines came to life.The Aegis Fate flew towards the portal."NOOO!"Varner yelled.Then it all went black.

---

"Feet first into Hell!"

Put it into microsoft word so you don't have so many spelling mistakes cause Thats bad

---

Feet First Into Hell!
Wanna come?

i dont have word

---

"Feet first into Hell!"

and Riz is making chapta 1 as i speak

 

---

"Feet first into Hell!"

Riz,you are awesome!

---

"Feet first into Hell!"

ODSTman:

My new fan-fic :)

              

                                                        Prolog

                                                  1200 hours

                                                  aboard the UNSC Aegis Fate

                                   "You boys got here just in time,we're about to go through the portal,"Captain Devin Allen said to Coropral Riz and Sargent Paul Varner."Sir,with all due respect,we might not survive the pass through,"Varner said."Oh,yes we will,if some God forsaken Elites made it,we'll make it,"Allen replied."No,dont-"Varner said as the frigate shook as the engines came to life.The Aegis Fate flew towards the portal."NOOO!"Varner yelled.Then it all went black.

Ummm... sorry to be the one to tell you this but, that was pretty terrible. 

You need to fix your spelling and make it more interesting for sure.

Dont give up!!!! :)

---

"Beer, is the living proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy"
-Benjamin Franklin

Life is to be enjoyed from start to finish, besides there's plenty of time to be dead.

wish hw was here:

ODSTman:

My new fan-fic :)

              

                                                        Prolog

                                                  1200 hours

                                                  aboard the UNSC Aegis Fate

                                   "You boys got here just in time,we're about to go through the portal,"Captain Devin Allen said to Coropral Riz and Sargent Paul Varner."Sir,with all due respect,we might not survive the pass through,"Varner said."Oh,yes we will,if some God forsaken Elites made it,we'll make it,"Allen replied."No,dont-"Varner said as the frigate shook as the engines came to life.The Aegis Fate flew towards the portal."NOOO!"Varner yelled.Then it all went black.

Ummm... sorry to be the one to tell you this but, that was pretty terrible. 

You need to fix your spelling and make it more interesting for sure.

Dont give up!!!! :)

I WILL NOT GIVE UP!

*runs into wall*

i give up

---

"Feet first into Hell!"

ODST man send them the updated version

---

"I smoke a fat pound of grass, and fall on my ass faster than a fat *** who sat down to fast"

If you don't like R!zZle BiZzl£ then you can shnizzle my nizzle

chapter 1 oh yeah

 

                                                                Chapter 1

                                                            2500 hours 2552

                                                           aboard the Covenant cruiser Pious Inquisiter

                                       "By the Gods,Tri'Gui,is that you?"asked the Elite known as Num'Trass."Yes,Num'Trass,I am back,"Tri'Gui said."The b*****d Truth is on the Ark,Shipmaster,"an Elite with crimson armor said to Tri'Gui."In formation with the Fleet!"Tri'Gui barked out orders to everyone in the bridge.When they were in formation with the Fleet,Tri'Gui let out a war cry as they fired."Pious Inquisitor,update us,"said Allen over the COM."Truth is on the Ark,Human,"Tri'Gui said.

                           "Then we shall destroy his Fleet,"Allen replied."Yes,we shall fight together,Humans and Elites,"Tri'Gui said,confidence rising in his voice.Truth will die here.Tri'Gui thought to himself."Shipmaster,should I assemble a strike team?"the Elite with crimson armor asked."Yes,"Tri'Gui replied.He headed toward the armory.

---

"Feet first into Hell!"

R!zZle BiZzl£:

ODST man send them the updated version

ok

---

"Feet first into Hell!"

whats happened to Varner and Riz?

---

"I smoke a fat pound of grass, and fall on my ass faster than a fat *** who sat down to fast"

If you don't like R!zZle BiZzl£ then you can shnizzle my nizzle

ODST man ill be off for about half an hour or a hour

---

"I smoke a fat pound of grass, and fall on my ass faster than a fat *** who sat down to fast"

If you don't like R!zZle BiZzl£ then you can shnizzle my nizzle

Varner is K.O.,Riz is with him in the medic ward,as you wrote

---

"Feet first into Hell!"

I think its ok in terms of how the script is but, can you start a new line when someone speaks?

Example:

Mary-sue sees Jhonny walking by.

"Hey Jhonny whats up?" asked Mary.

Jhonny replies "Oh nothing Mary, just walking around town."

.....no comments on that pathetic example.

---

Well moderators, you managed to ban the people who didn't do a *** thing, congratulations..

Prologue

                                                  1200 hours

                                                  aboard the UNSC Aegis Fate

                                   "You boys got here just in time,we're about to go through that portal,"Captain Devin Allen said to Corporal Riz and Sargent Paul Varner.

"Sir please, with all due respect, we might not survive the pass through, it could get to chaotic,"Varner suggested.

"Oh yes we bloody will, if a few God forsaken Elites can make it, we can too, you shouldn't worry so much Sargent Varner,"Allen replied.

"No, you don't ! -"Varner shouted,

"I think that's enough Sargent, i know what I'm doing now please sit down", Allen reassured.

"hey don't worry so much, chill out." Riz said. As the frigate shook violently, the engines came to life. The Aegis Fate flew towards the portal."NOOO!," Varner yelled. Then all went black.

this is the Prologue only improved me and ODSTman are working together

---

---

---

"I smoke a fat pound of grass, and fall on my ass faster than a fat *** who sat down to fast"

If you don't like R!zZle BiZzl£ then you can shnizzle my nizzle