Seize the Day,My first fanfic

Last post 04-19-2008, 10:51 AM by qkaczmark. 13 replies.
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  •  04-14-2008, 5:37 PM 206798

    Seize the Day,My first fanfic

     Please post all your thoughts wether it be flame, praise or any other things 

    Chapter 1

    Evan laid on his bed and waited for the message to sound. The routine "All UNSC crew members report to Cryo" message came before a jump to slipspace. Oddly, a message came up to his and his bunkmates’ computer saying, "Evan Brade, report to the Med bay for examination." "Huh?" mumbled Evan.

    He slowly began toward the Med bay. He made a stop at the commissary and picked up a bag of chips. When he finally arrived, he threw the empty bag in the garbage and made his way up to a Med console. Then he typed his username and password and his service record popped up.

     

    Name: Brade, Evan

     

    Condition: Active

     

    Rank: Corporal

    Bio:

    Drafted at 17. Fought in many small skirmishes with covenant. Killed an elite in hand to hand combat Currently stationed Upon UNSC prototype Recon vessel Expedition.

    After looking through some useless files, he found where he needed to go. The file said, Report to Dr. Kraynok for Exam. He then, once again, made his way to another part of the med bay. Once he arrived they drilled him with the usual questions until he was free to go. The cryo message had just then been announced so he made his way to cryo and got in the chamber.

    Chapter 2

     

    Evan, in what had appeared to him to have been moments, had then awoken from cryo. He was one of the first people out. The computer in his room said to report to Sgt. Vandez for briefing. Once he arrived, him and several other marines took their seats. The Sgt. explained how there was a tech problem in the engines and they dropped out of slipspace early. They were above an uncharted planet, which according to a recently intercepted transmission was called Redan VIII. Then the sarge said "Get to the armory, suit up and move out. Recon the area, planet side, and set up an LZ. Then all the marines yelled "Hurrah" and went to the armory.

    Evan picked up the MA5C and the M6G and he got 4 frag grenades. He then proceeded to the hangar and boarded a Pelican. Altogether, 3 Pelicans were to drop off the recon team. All of them were full. Once the marines hit planet side they began to fan out. Suddenly a nearby marine yelled out "Brade get over here. What is this?"

    Evan ran over and saw a URF scout lying face-first in a pool of blood. Just then they heard a howl...

     

    Chapter 3

    The howl, once again, resounded through the woodland. "Sir, what kind of terrain will we be fighting in?" asked Evan

    The Sgt. Typed in several buttons a mini laptop and he ordered the ship to send live camera feed. "Well it looks like this planet is all rainforest with some small bodies of water," Sgt. said.

    Then one of the marines said, "What’s wrong with you Brade... Scared of the jungle?" and he and his friends all started to laugh.

    The howl sounded once again but much closer. "What the h*ll is that?" asked a Marine.

    "Wolves, probably," the sarge said.

    Then all the marines almost simultaneously flipped off their safeties. Then out of the forest and into the clearing where they where standing jumped a brute. Evan shot 15 rounds at it and dropped it’s shields, then the sarge fired a shotgun at it. It stood dazed for a moment then dropped. Then in the distance, an anti air battery shot into orbit. "What’s wrong with that thing" a marine asked.

    They realized it was shooting at the Expedition. They also saw a Phantom inbound on there position. Sarge ran behind a tree and yelled "Take cover!"

    Evan ran behind a fallen tree and he primed a frag grenade. Once a group of grunts piled off and the phantom flew away, he threw it at the group. One grunt picked it up and looked at it and his head went flying. It landed right next to Evan. He pulled out his M6 and shot a grunt’s head. Blue gore went everywhere. The marines dropped the rest of the grunts in seconds. The marines then thought about what they should do. They each only brought 3 mags for their MA5's because it was supposed to be a recon mission. That immediately took out the option of an assault. Their only hope was a Pelican. The more they thought about it, the less chance it seemed to have. They decided to seek shelter for the rapidly approaching night....

    Chapter 4

    Evan and the rest of the marines swiftly and quietly scouted the area. It was getting darker at an alarming rate. Also colder. Evan paused and saw his breath floating in front of his face. He then thought about how he should by a face-cover for his helmet. He then trotted up to a squad-mate. "Any news?" Evan asked casually.

    "Nothing yet," he said.

    Evan then found the Sgt. about 60yds North of were he was. He could tell it was North because of the compass in his MA5. "We lost contact with the 5th scout squad" Sgt. announced

    "How?" asked Evan

    "We don’t know," he paused then said "We can count covenant out though," "What are we going to do?"

    "You can continue scouting and ill try to contact Col., if he isn’t already dead,"

    "Sir, yes sir!"then he started moving East.

    Evan eventually came upon a building, human surprisingly. He radioed a couple squad-mates to come to his location. Once they arrived they opened the door and began to sweep the room. They eventually came upon a dead brute’s body. "Gory ain’t it?" asked one marine.

    "Very," replied a second.

    Then Evan’s radio beeped, signaling a waiting call. It was Sgt. "Marines meet me at the peak of the nearest hill, double time soldiers!"

    All the marines sprinted to the door and towards Sgt. When they arrived he was being suppressed by a jackal sniper. Evan leveled his pistol and fired 3 shots. 2 of the 3 sent jackal brain flying. "Little b*st*rd"

    Several of the marines laughed. Then they saw it......


    "When the pin is pulled Mr.Grenade isnt your friend"-Drill Instructor
  •  04-14-2008, 5:40 PM 206804 in reply to 206798

    Re: Seize the Day,My first fanfic

    Good job.Read mine.Caba's journey.
    [url=http://www.halowars.com/forums/thread/255446.aspx]The Great War[/url]Ch.5 is up
    [url=http://www.halowars.com/forums/224551/ShowThread.aspx#224551]Caba's Journey[/url]Done
    2
  •  04-14-2008, 5:44 PM 206810 in reply to 206804

    Re: Seize the Day,My first fanfic

    prety good but try to expand and tell about whats going on in the story....so far all we know is hes going into cryo sleep so let us know where the ship is bound and things like that....otherwise a good start....and please check out my own fan fic:Brothers-at-Arms if you need inspiration or advice ill gladly help you
    Though i fall with the glory of many, i wish all you remember me for the floods i survived and in the flood that i leave. good bye forumers, i leave for good.

    "Nos pugna quod intereo ut frater"-We fight and die as brothers
  •  04-14-2008, 6:06 PM 206842 in reply to 206798

    Re: Seize the Day,My first fanfic

    Chapter 2 may be up this week

     

     

     


    "When the pin is pulled Mr.Grenade isnt your friend"-Drill Instructor
  •  04-14-2008, 6:12 PM 206853 in reply to 206842

    Re: Seize the Day,My first fanfic

    Hey, you don't see the rest of us bumping the threads. Stop trying to get other people to read it. If its good, we'll comment on it and move on. Otherwise, just write and see if your results are any good. Bumping threads isn't worth it if you suck. And seriously, if anything, you should be using more of your time on writing than bumping a thread that people have already looked over.


    "Realism supersedes the principles of ideological views here George. If anything, know this.

    Those men, are never...coming...back."

    - Forgotten World
  •  04-14-2008, 6:16 PM 206859 in reply to 206853

    Re: Seize the Day,My first fanfic

    sorry didnt know :(
    "When the pin is pulled Mr.Grenade isnt your friend"-Drill Instructor
  •  04-14-2008, 6:23 PM 206868 in reply to 206859

    Re: Seize the Day,My first fanfic

    Ah, doesn't matter anyway. I'm just paranoid...and I have stomach issues which is making my life miserable...=P Anyway...keep going with the fanfic. I do advise you make it longer, and be sure to use grammar right, as well as spacing and making sure you put good thought into structure and paragraph spacing.


    "Realism supersedes the principles of ideological views here George. If anything, know this.

    Those men, are never...coming...back."

    - Forgotten World
  •  04-15-2008, 7:36 PM 207833 in reply to 206798

    Re: Seize the Day,My first fanfic

    chapter 2 is up

     


    "When the pin is pulled Mr.Grenade isnt your friend"-Drill Instructor
  •  04-16-2008, 7:30 PM 208803 in reply to 206798

    Re: Seize the Day,My first fanfic

    I have finished chapter 3 !!!!!

     


    "When the pin is pulled Mr.Grenade isnt your friend"-Drill Instructor
  •  04-16-2008, 7:38 PM 208806 in reply to 208803

    Re: Seize the Day,My first fanfic

    Its good, and if you have time look at my fanfic, http://www.halowars.com/forums/thread/196627.aspx and to note the name has changed to Halo: The Defense of Halo 7.
    In my times, the darkened days,
    Evil invaded the world.
    We farmers,
    We workers of the Red Union,
    We united and slaughtered them all.
    The brave soul,
    Above the evil,
    Planted our inspiration atop their burning cities.
    - Ruski
  •  04-16-2008, 7:41 PM 208809 in reply to 208806

    Re: Seize the Day,My first fanfic

    mine two plz

    cabas journey. check terminal in haloverse


    [url=http://www.halowars.com/forums/thread/255446.aspx]The Great War[/url]Ch.5 is up
    [url=http://www.halowars.com/forums/224551/ShowThread.aspx#224551]Caba's Journey[/url]Done
    2
  •  04-16-2008, 7:41 PM 208810 in reply to 208809

    Re: Seize the Day,My first fanfic

    K, Don. I will go check it out.
    In my times, the darkened days,
    Evil invaded the world.
    We farmers,
    We workers of the Red Union,
    We united and slaughtered them all.
    The brave soul,
    Above the evil,
    Planted our inspiration atop their burning cities.
    - Ruski
  •  04-16-2008, 7:42 PM 208813 in reply to 208810

    Re: Seize the Day,My first fanfic

    grazie
    [url=http://www.halowars.com/forums/thread/255446.aspx]The Great War[/url]Ch.5 is up
    [url=http://www.halowars.com/forums/224551/ShowThread.aspx#224551]Caba's Journey[/url]Done
    2
  •  04-19-2008, 10:51 AM 209968 in reply to 206798

    Re: Seize the Day,My first fanfic

    chapter 4 is up!

     


    "When the pin is pulled Mr.Grenade isnt your friend"-Drill Instructor
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