Earth in flames, the occupation of earth (fanfic)

Last post 09-20-2008, 12:46 PM by My Killer Grunt. 35 replies.
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  •  12-02-2007, 6:17 PM 125890

    Earth in flames, the occupation of earth (fanfic)

    Disclaimer, I will try to be Cannonly accurate but I may not be always so no flaming.

    I'm puting the Fast Food Flood on hold as I try to make it more of a comedy again, I will continue it, if a lot of people want me to continue immediatly I might but I don't know. 

       Chapter 1 The 374th Mixed battalion


    Private John J. Hoffman Jumped from the Warthog, he tumbled into the bottom of a drainage ditch. He landed in about three inches of muddy water, he was glad for his armor as he looked at the thorns that covered the side of the drainage ditch. He heard another warthog apprroaching, he hastily grabbed his MA5C and checked the clip. It was good, he made sure his grenades were all there, he then crawled along the left side of the drainage ditch to a culvert. He crawled inside just enough to hide himself, he then layed their waiting for the sound of the insructors Warthog. 

    A Few minutes had passed when he heard the bell approach, he crawled out just enough to look, nope not the insctuctors it was a decoy warthog. He let it pass, then he heard another bell on an approaching warthog, he looked out again. It was the instuctors, "bingo" he thought as he climbed from the drainage ditch. The warthog came to a stop ten feet in front of him, the instructor climbed with a smile on his face. 

    "Good job private, you succesfully avoided detection from our spotters, you pass. You are now officialy a Battlefield Elite Marine" The instuctor said.

    "Thank you sir! John said saluting the instuctor. 

    "Welcome to the 374th Mixed infantry and armor battalion B.E.M. (Battlefield Elite Marine), you need to join up with your platoon, it will be a short Pelican ride." The instructor said and then got in the warthog. 

    John climbed into the passenger seat of the warthog as the instructor started the engine, "I was impressed by that jump, it was a good clean jump. You'll make a fine BEM." The instructor said.

    Ten minutes later they pulled up to a parked pelican, it had six or so marines standing around it talking and laughing. John climbed from the warthog and walked over to them. A lieutenant spotted him, "Welcome to the 374th Mixed lad, my name is Lieutenant Groman, hope you survive the war."

    When the Lt. Gorman said that John new that the war was as bad as everyone said it was. He then noticed that the Lt. Gorman had several medals, one of them was the Bronz star which meant the lieutenant had seen several tours of duty.

    They climbed aboard the pelican as the engines warmed up, John new he was headed for war whether or not the covenant found earth. BEMs were not awarded easily, and when they were they saw combat until they were killed or to badly injured to fight. He looked out the back of the pelican as it rose into the air, he watched the small town slowly disappear into the distance. If the covenant found earth, this small town and all the others would be destroyed. It was his job to defend the defensless and kill those who would harm them. The hatch slowly closed, John rested against the back of the seat and tried to get some sleep.

    John woke with a start, he heard commotion and a lot of confused talking. The most he could make of it was that the Covenant had found earth, then he heard a few words that made his blood run cold. "Incoming seraphs, everyone brace yourselves" the pilot said into the comm system. The room went silent, everyone went silent and then they heard a whoosh above them. "It went over us I don't believe it, it completely passed us." The pilot said ecstaticly. 

    BOOM! 

    The pelican took a hit from something, John could feel them going down. Lt. Gorman jumped up and banged on the door between the cockpit nad them. "Open up, come on open up! he yelled. 

    "This is the pilot we have been hit, by what I don't know but we are going down, right into western outskirts of new Mombasa." 

    John leaned over to the MEB next to him and said. "Whats going on? 

    "A covenant fleet just arrived, we lost the Malta but the Athens and Cairo station are both firing full speed ahead. We got our prioritys switched to new mombasa, we were supposed to hold the main bridge but that isn't happening anymore. The Master Chief is on the Cairo defending it, I hope he doesn't die. And my name is Private Hopman." Private Hopman said.

    The comm system crackled, "Thirty seconds to impact, I still have part of the eninges so the landing should be pretty soft."





    "Do not die a coward, a villan, or a hero, die a servant who dies for others"


    Check out my story, earth in flames, the occupation of earth.
  •  12-02-2007, 8:44 PM 126050 in reply to 125890

    Re: Earth in flames, the occupation of earth (fanfic)

    Ok Good job on this one. CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISCM TIME!

    I think that it was a little to jerky for my tastes, and you didn't give it much backstory. Try refining your technique by reading some classics, and then re-write this. 


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  •  12-02-2007, 8:47 PM 126054 in reply to 126050

    Re: Earth in flames, the occupation of earth (fanfic)

    i think you suck adversus compello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  •  12-02-2007, 8:50 PM 126056 in reply to 126054

    Re: Earth in flames, the occupation of earth (fanfic)

    tactical killer:
    i think you suck adversus compello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Noob, there are some things (like theses) that you should keep to yourself and just not say out loud...

     

     

    ...even if they ARE true. 

    hehe jk Adversus Compello. 




    "Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead!"
  •  12-02-2007, 9:04 PM 126077 in reply to 126054

    Re: Earth in flames, the occupation of earth (fanfic)

    tactical killer:
    i think you suck adversus compello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    These are the worst kind of noobs. They've contributed nothing to the community and they think they can insult a mid level member? 4 Posts, and i bet all of them are spam or hate. Maybe its an account for another member who needs to let out his childish side, but has to do it in a non articulate manner. Maybe its just a noob. Whatever the case, DONT COME BACK MOFO! 


    JOIN THE CRIMSON ARMY! @
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  •  12-02-2007, 9:07 PM 126079 in reply to 126077

    Re: Earth in flames, the occupation of earth (fanfic)

    Adversus Compello:

    tactical killer:
    i think you suck adversus compello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    These are the worst kind of noobs. They've contributed nothing to the community and they think they can insult a mid level member? 4 Posts, and i bet all of them are spam or hate. Maybe its an account for another member who needs to let out his childish side, but has to do it in a non articulate manner. Maybe its just a noob. Whatever the case, DONT COME BACK MOFO! 

    amen




    "Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead!"
  •  12-02-2007, 9:10 PM 126081 in reply to 126079

    Re: Earth in flames, the occupation of earth (fanfic)

     I find it kinda funny that a newb with 4 posts thinks he can win in a fight with a mid member. And the newb Tactical Killer QUICKLY DOWNGRADES TO NOOB!!
  •  12-02-2007, 9:12 PM 126084 in reply to 126081

    Re: Earth in flames, the occupation of earth (fanfic)

    Most noobs you can take to rehab and turn into productive members. But there are those who are like thorns in your side that have barbs on them. They just won't come out! i think this might be his case.

    And btw nvm about the re-write it, just edit it 


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  •  12-03-2007, 7:29 AM 126249 in reply to 126084

    Re: Earth in flames, the occupation of earth (fanfic)

    Please, post about my story, I don't want this to get locked.

    Thanks Adversus, I see what you mean, but I'm going to put the back story in later in my own slightly unique way.

    Adversus would you like a better sig? I can give you one.

    "Do not die a coward, a villan, or a hero, die a servant who dies for others"


    Check out my story, earth in flames, the occupation of earth.
  •  12-03-2007, 10:49 PM 126574 in reply to 126054

    Re: Earth in flames, the occupation of earth (fanfic)

    tactical killer:
    i think you suck adversus compello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    *** son of a bitcher.  you've got no taste.  Instead of just screaming "Boo you suck!"  (no offense AC) you can just say something like "okay i liked this but maybe you should tweak this because this was weird."

    dude, if you think good stories are only written by proffessional authors you are DEAD WRONG look at alot of the fanfics on this site.  some of the best I've ever read are here. 


    "which ones Griff?" - tex
    "mess with her and I'll break your legs. both of them" - Mand'alor Boba Fett
  •  12-04-2007, 12:15 PM 126683 in reply to 125890

    Re: Earth in flames, the occupation of earth (fanfic)

    Chapter 2 Hard Landing

    John, lifted his feet off the floor of the pelican, he linked arms with the marine next to him with his right arm and grabbed a handel with his left. He looked around the dark room at the marines, the memergency light flickered iluminating faces for a second then throwing them into darkness. He could tell that most of them were frightened, they had every right to be. They were about to crash land in a city, but what puzzled John was that he wasn't afraid. He wasn't afraid to die, he was ready to do what was asked of him. 

    Johns moment of thinking deeply was abrubtly ended as the Pilot yelled into the comm system "Ten seconds out! 

    John said a quick prayer and tried to loosen up, then he felt the pelican abrubtly slow as the crashed through a building, he could hear building crumbling. He was thrown to the floor, along with the rest of the squad, he could tell they were still moving. Then he felt them stop completely, he blacked out. 

    Fire filled his mind, he cold see chaos and pain, everything was splintered facts flying around him in an orb of pain and sorrow. He could hear the scream of women and children, he could feel the chaos. He watched as a the flames engulfed the building, confused and dazed, an explosion ripped through another building. He was thrown to the ground, he felt the helping hand of a police officer pick him up and carry him away from the flames. 

    "John wake up! Come on I don't intend to loose a soldier on his first day! He heard Lt. Gorman yell at him. 

    John slowly opened his eyes, and saw a medic and Lt. Gormans worried faces as they hovered over him. He closed his eyes and stuck his hand in the air. He felt Lt. Gormans hand grip his and pull John to his feet. John reopened his eyes and looked around, the pelican was to his left, the right side was bashed in pretty far. The front wasn't to badly damaged, he looked around and saw the entire sqaud, it was still daytime actually it was just about noon. Then he noticed other marines along the street, all with BRs and SMGs to the side. John then realized that multiple buildings were damaged and black marks from plasma marred the street and buildings. "Whats with the Plasma scarring? John mumbled.

    "The covenant blew up the Athens and managed to sneek a carrier through, another tried to get through and the Chief nailed it with a covenant bomb planted on the Cairo. For some reason the carrier that slipped through landed here and is dispatching troops through the city. We got hit by a piece of debris from the carrier that got nailed. Our objective is to repel the Covenant forces out of our city and then board one of their ships and find out why they came here." Lt. Gorman said.

    John picked up his BR, he checked the clip, he checked his grenades, all good. John picked up his helmet and put it on, his HUD was good, he tested his comm system, it was good. John took a bottle of water the the medic handed him, he chugged the bottle in a few gulps. The water flowed down his parched throat and soothed it. He gave the empty bottle back to the medic, the medic took the bottle and stuck it in a bag for recycling. Even the army had to recycle bottles, resources were becoming that scarce. 

    A plasma mortor hit a building down the street, debris flew through the air. The bulding collapsed into the street, concrete blocks and metal beams had just formed a road block. Some of the blocks were blackened by the plasma, others were brocken into small pieces. The metal beams protruded from the concret chaos, they shone in the sun, a dark reminder of what this war was about. The ends were as sharp as a razer, some were deformed from the momentary heat of plasma.

    "Incoming! one of the Marines yelled.

    John looked up and saw a banshee fire a banshee bomb at them, the banshee climbed and then dived towards them firing at John. John put his BR up against his shoulder and aimed through the scope. Let off six bursts into the wing of the banshe, the wing broke and fell off. The banshee broke off it's appraoch but the bomb and plasma rounds were still coming. 

    John ran across the street for cover, he jumped through a doorway into a building. He heard the bomb explode behind him, he then felt the heat of the plasma as it dissipated into the air. John rolled over onto his back and looked at the crater the Banshee bomb had made, it was a few inches deep and about a foot and a half wide. John grabbed his BR that layed beside him, he pulled the clip out and stuck a new one in. He got to his feet and looked out a window that had just lost it's glass. The banshee was limping away with a wing missing. 

    "Good shot man" a voice behind John made him start, he turned around. Several marines had also taken refuge in this building, the one that had spoken had an SMG with two pistols strapped to his side. 

    "Thanks" John said. He could hear the distant sounds of plasma mortors and battle. An explosion here and there, gun fire, a fighter flying over head. 

    "All right eveyone gather up! John heard Lt. Gorman say. 

    "Hey my name is Tod Domd, call me Tom" The marine that had spoken a minute ago said.

    "John is my name, who are you with? John whispered back as he walked toward where Lt. Gorman stood along with a couple of other marines.

    "374th, B company, you? Tod replied. 

    "374th also, A company" John replied, John stopped and stood about twelve feet from where Lt. Gorman stood, five marines stood to Johns left and about twenty to his right. The rest of his squad along with the medic were across from him. 

    "Listen up, I know I'm not your officer but I'm in charge of a squad of BEMs so I want you to listen. The Covenant have a carrier hovering over this city dumping covies into it. We are gonna kill them and then take that Carrier, got it? Lt. Gorman said in the standard pep talk voice.

    "Sir yes sir! they all replied in unison.

    "Do not die a coward, a villan, or a hero, die a servant who dies for others"


    Check out my story, earth in flames, the occupation of earth.
  •  12-04-2007, 6:07 PM 126928 in reply to 126683

    Re: Chptr 2 Earth in flames, the occupation of earth (fanfic)

    A new chapter is up! 


    "Do not die a coward, a villan, or a hero, die a servant who dies for others"


    Check out my story, earth in flames, the occupation of earth.
  •  12-04-2007, 8:37 PM 127036 in reply to 126928

    Re: Chptr 2 Earth in flames, the occupation of earth (fanfic)

    Very nice.  Better than chapter 1.  In the words of AC, CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM TIME!!!!!

    Still a little jerky.  Um, how would the sergeants know the chief blew up a carrier and a lot of that ***.  Try to say things like "you know I heard..." and have other people throw in back talk adding to the complete story.  also people just don't walk up to each other and say "Hi, I'm bob!  wanna be my friend?"  to have characters introduced, have the character either know them for a long time so you can just flat out say they are there are have the main character discuss with other characters and gradually get to know them. 


    "which ones Griff?" - tex
    "mess with her and I'll break your legs. both of them" - Mand'alor Boba Fett
  •  12-04-2007, 8:46 PM 127048 in reply to 127036

    Re: Chptr 2 Earth in flames, the occupation of earth (fanfic)

    it was great not much to complain actually no complaints from me ggggoooooooooodddddd  jjjjjjjoooooooobbbbbbb

    if you do not settle for peace, what do you settle for love war what? you decide for only you can prevent your own problems from raising.
  •  12-19-2007, 2:48 PM 133415 in reply to 126683

    Re: Earth in flames, the occupation of earth (fanfic)

    Chapter 3 Drive for the city

    John looked up as a pelican soared over them, it had a warthog, "Hey any chance that thing is for me? John yelled to everyone in general. 

    "Nope, it is for me marine" Lt. Gorman said as the pelican dropped it at the end of the street. "But since you joh  asked you are gunner, Tod your driver, Mclain you ride shotgun, and put that SPNKR of yours to good use. Got it marines? Lt. Gorman punctuated the sentence by cocking his BR55. 

    "Yes sir, but what is our objective? John said. 

    "To lead this group of fine marines, and John your the leader of that hog, I expect you to do a good job."

    "Aye sir" John said, he checked his ammo clip, his comm system and his grenades, all good. John ran for the warthog, he climbed up onto the gunning platform. He had been the best gunner in his class, along with Warthog commander. The other Marines got in, Tod Domd fired up the engine, they began to drive down the street. 

    They had to go fairly slow because the marines had to be able to keep up. John could see a lot of covenant flack, banshees were flying over downtown, Phantoms were ferrying troops from the ship to different parts of the city, John saw a few pelicans and hornets but for the most part the covenant had air supperiority. 

    Johns comm crackled, "John do you read me? it was Lt. Gorman. 

    "Aye sir" John replied, he switched it so everyone in the Warthog could hear.

    "I just heard good news and bad news over the CO radio channel the good news is Master Chief is coming in, he will be landing on the island.  The bad news is we have incoming banshees, followed by Phantoms. Prepare for them, Mclain can you hear me?

    "YES SIR! Mclain Yelled.

    "I appreciate the enthusiasm BEM, just don't deafen me, got it? oh well you don't need to answer that. Use that SPNKR well, and take out those banshees. John, help him, but your priority are enemy ground forces. Lt. Gorman out." The Lt. said and then cut the comm.

    End of part 1 of chapter 3. Hope you enjoy. 

    For anyone that is worried, my main character will not meet up with the MC.

    "Do not die a coward, a villan, or a hero, die a servant who dies for others"


    Check out my story, earth in flames, the occupation of earth.
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