Reasons why Steven Seagal is better than Chuck Norris:
1. Chuck Norris has a third fist under his beard.
Steven Seagal doesn't need a third fist.
2. When Chuck Norris jumps into a body of water, he doesn’t get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris instead.
Steven Seagal can walk on water.
3. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Steven Seagal doesn't need to wait. He kills people who are late.
4. When Chuck Norris does push ups the world moves under him.
Steven Seagal invented the big bang.
1 Chuck Norris isn’t hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Steven Seagal can't be hung
6. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding
Good thing Waldo hasn't meet Steven Seagal, otherwise he would be dead.
7. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Steven Seagal uses his death stare, with his eyes closed.
8. Chuck Norris invented cancer because he was tired of killing people
Steven Seagal actually kills people in his movies.
2 In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Steven Seagal could kill the room itself.
10. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
Steven Seagal just uses someone that got in his way.
Lastly, God wanted 10 days to create the world. Chuck Norris gave him 6.
Steven Seagal gave Chuck 3.