This was decently written, but there where a few things missing, and something that just confused me. There were slight spelling issues; no words spelled wrong, just the wrong words used. You also used excessive commas which made it sound highly dramatic.

          I do not quite understand why the female ODST was okay with him being half naked. Would she not have had some type of expression of shock or hilarity on her face? Come on, you see a military officer half naked and your not shocked at all?

          The intensity of the entire story completely died down in chapter two. It just started to get boring and uneventful. I also doubt a commanding officer would let a lower ranking officer talk to him like that in front of people without saying anything to him. It is not in character for him.

          Last but not least, you did a pretty bad job describing the setting. The only good description I read was about the outside. You did not describe where he was sleeping or the command center. The only information we got about those was there was flashing lights and people.

Tried to come back... found nothing to come back to...