why humans was almost wiped out

Last post 11-03-2009, 6:03 PM by saints. 10 replies.
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  •  10-30-2009, 2:34 PM 761384

    why humans was almost wiped out

    this is a bungieverse post i wanted to share with another halo forum that i thought was quite humorous

     

    At the beginning of the Halo series, humanity had weapons that made the Covenant crap their pants. The standard UNSC pistol could be used as a freakin' anti-air weapon! The rocket launcher obliterated everything nearby, and the vehicles were completely indestructible.

    Meanwhile, the Covenant were equiping their highest ranking Elites with fuzzy blue things that did nothing but make the humans laugh, as they used bullets to kill enemies rather than fists.

    Then, the UNSC had a sudden urge to "balance" their equipment. They made it so the pistol couldn't kill a grunt, let alone a Covenant ship. They also made it so the vehicles were basicly fast-moving death traps that the enemy could now hijack. The only improvements were that the rocket laucher now fired rockets that could lock on to vehicles, and the UNSC finally saved up enough money to get every marine a driver's license.

    At the same time, the Covenant had upgraded their blue fuzzy things into something that resembled a sword, which could now allow the user to fly 50 feet towards any target they wanted. They also developed a weapon similar to the UNSC SPNKR, except the user could fire approx. 1 bajillion rounds before reloading.

    The UNSC then developed a weapon similar to the original stardard-issue pistol, but instead of making it standard issue, it was reserved for maniacs who enjoy getting launched from an orbital station into a city for a living.

    The Covenant then realized that marines were using the plasma pistol and BR55 together to kill shielded Covenant easier, so they did the only logical thing and made the plasma pistol completely useless.

    In order to combat Banshees in the absence of the pistol, the UNSC designed Hornets, a slower moving, hard to operate vehicle that was only semi-competent at killing infantry units.

    Not wanting to fall behind on the manufacturing of over-powered weapons that make no sense, the Covenant designed a seven foot tall hammer that could destroy any enemy with one hit. This weapon was of course down graded when the Covenant realized it was useful.

    Only with the help of the Elites with their retarded glowy things that are somehow enabled the user to fly towards enemies, was humanity able to survive.

    Weapons in the future suck.


    my account (my brother made the name)
    Tanmanksu1000

    My brothers acount i use
    Topgun1017
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  •  10-30-2009, 3:18 PM 761402 in reply to 761384

    Re: why humans was almost wiped out

    quite humorous, my friend.
    Here is the Chain of Command.
    I tell you what to do.
    You do it.

    End of chain.
  •  10-30-2009, 5:04 PM 761467 in reply to 761402

    Re: why humans was almost wiped out

    Haha, so true.
    The Eayn Tribute: Read about the life of a jackal, who fights back during a rebellion against the covenant, and must struggle to remain alive as the Covenant fight the small group of rebels.

    http://www.halowars.com/forums/thread/804296.aspx

  •  10-30-2009, 5:12 PM 761479 in reply to 761467

    Re: why humans was almost wiped out

    lol 

    Saw this on Haloverse. I lol'd 


    Tank > Banshee
  •  10-30-2009, 5:13 PM 761482 in reply to 761384

    Re: why humans was almost wiped out

    dude that is so true
    I have an idea lets fill a pop tart with a bunch of naste meat and call it a hot pocket!
  •  10-30-2009, 6:23 PM 761548 in reply to 761482

    Re: why humans was almost wiped out

    My god I'm so tempted to shred that apart... yet I know it's satire... but still...

    /head explode


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    The Interrogation of Ellen Anders

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  •  11-03-2009, 12:53 PM 764849 in reply to 761548

    Re: why humans was almost wiped out

    oh *** i didnt mean to post this in stories :( no wonder i couldnt find it in haloverse
    my account (my brother made the name)
    Tanmanksu1000

    My brothers acount i use
    Topgun1017
    27TS 1v1
    33TS 2v2 random
    15TS 3v3random
    ever seen me ingame send me a msg tell me how i did or how the match went! ;)
  •  11-03-2009, 1:18 PM 764851 in reply to 764849

    Re: why humans was almost wiped out

    You made this same thread with another name yesterday.  Why didn't you just bump it?  I had some contributions in it too :D  Namely the shotgun, Flood, and plasma pistol.
  •  11-03-2009, 2:08 PM 764879 in reply to 764851

    Re: why humans was almost wiped out

    yeah, bump it so that people will keep adding ideas. that was fun, although the original takes most of the ideas

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  •  11-03-2009, 3:14 PM 764955 in reply to 764879

    Re: why humans was almost wiped out

    Gonna think of some :]

    Aloysius:
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  •  11-03-2009, 6:03 PM 765112 in reply to 764955

    Re: why humans was almost wiped out

    THIS thread is in Halo-Verse, i think instead of pasting it in haloverse i accidentally put it in story or w/e so go to HALO VERSE there are alot more ideas and comments
    my account (my brother made the name)
    Tanmanksu1000

    My brothers acount i use
    Topgun1017
    27TS 1v1
    33TS 2v2 random
    15TS 3v3random
    ever seen me ingame send me a msg tell me how i did or how the match went! ;)
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