Ok. I just read through this, at Sanchez's request....
I thought it was okay, very few spelling or grammar mistakes. I did see a lot of Canonical mistake though, some of which NT picked on.
The M99 Stanchion rifle was powered by a battery and Is nearly two meters long. I don't think Li could cart that around for long engagements.
Plasma burns but it wouldn't melt a person in one hit. Drones have greenish blood.
Also can you describe things more? Such as the Dragon and the grenade launcher. If you going to make something new up I'd like to have a description of it.
I also felt rather detached from your characters, they don't really resonate with me, I like to think about what Li was thinking more, about his feelings on the situation and the battles in front of him. I think the insight into his past should of been a bit longer and it could have given some nice perspective to the war. Same goes for Reece.
Finally, try not to rush from one fight to another, to explain the surroundings, the smells the sounds of the battle around them, how each grunt falls, blue blood flying as it's facemask is ripped of by gunfire.
A nice story. Well done.
Vigil is watching you
Halo: The Unlatched Casket- The horror is released........