Private Lewis (FF)

Last post 08-01-2008, 5:22 PM by Offensive Bias. 234 replies.
Page 13 of 16 (235 items)   « First ... < Previous 11 12 13 14 15 Next > ... Last »
Sort Posts: Previous Next
  •  06-09-2008, 11:39 PM 251746 in reply to 251649

    Re: Private Lewis (FF)

    hay u gonna put it on the actual thread prolouge exellant gonna go 2 sleep now post it ASAP pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaz
    Remember The Fight

    Thanks Civ Base
    clickhere
    and if your a noob click here
  •  06-09-2008, 11:47 PM 251752 in reply to 251649

    Re: Private Lewis (FF)

    lol leafy, not only do you have spelling and grammatical problems in your review, but also you directly contradict yourself, ntm totally miss certain things. Just in what you quoted I could see your specific opinion on that stuff was incorrect.

    By Fire and Flood,
    KristallNacht



    I can lead a country with a microphone
  •  06-10-2008, 2:42 AM 251831 in reply to 251752

    Re: Private Lewis (FF)

    I stated in my review that the grammar and spelling problems where causing confusion in his story. I never said anything about you have a few, that makes the story suck, fix them ALL. No I said fix it to the point to where it is easier to understand.

    I just went over my review. I didn't find anything spelled wrong. Point out a few that you see. I can see grammar as thats a bit harder to find, but I don't think spelling is a problem.

    I was over exaggerating a lot of things in that review. When I hear muzzle, I think of something you put on a dogs mouth, when I hear baton, I think of that pole you twirl. I am sure this has went through other peoples minds. I was just saying that he may want to choose better words.

    It's his choice to use the information I gave him in that review. If he wants to, great. If not then oh well. He asked for it, if he doesn't want it then I just wasted about 20 minutes of my life. 

    If you want me to add a disclaimer at the bottom of the reviews I will. Stating that this may contain sparse grammatical and spelling errors. Not enough to make it illegible, but enough to prove I am human. I will.

    EDIT: 

    I will re-write that part where I contradicted myself. There is a difference between assuming that the reader knows something, and telling them something, then explaining what you just told them. 



    Tried to come back... found nothing to come back to...
  •  06-10-2008, 3:17 AM 251841 in reply to 251831

    Re: Private Lewis (FF)

    LeafyOwNu2:
    I just went over my review. I didn't find anything spelled wrong. Point out a few that you see. I can see grammar as (thats) a bit harder to find, but I don't think spelling is a problem.

    Remember when writing 'that is' together, it's that's, don't forget the apostrophes.

    LeafyOwNu2:
    If you want me to add a disclaimer at the bottom of the reviews I will. Stating that this may contain sparse grammatical and spelling errors. Not enough to make it illegible, but enough to prove I am human. I will.

    Yep, we're all human, can't be up to the perfection standard.

    LeafyOwNu2:
    It's his choice to use the information I gave him in that review. If he wants to, great. If not then oh well. He asked for it, if he doesn't want it then I just wasted about 20 minutes of my life.

    True.

    LeafyOwNu2:
    I was over exaggerating a lot of things in that review. When I hear muzzle, I think of something you put on a dogs mouth, when I hear baton, I think of that pole you twirl. I am sure this has went through other peoples minds. I was just saying that he may want to choose better words.

    Better words make a more vivid context.

     

     




    The silver crest of the gleaming point of the tool wishes you freedom from a retched existence.
  •  06-10-2008, 4:40 AM 251859 in reply to 251841

    Re: Private Lewis (FF)

    I try not to use that's and it's in a professional writing. I use that is and it is. It's just the way I was taught to write anything that is critical.

    Word has betrayed me and changed something that was right, and making it wrong. I hardly ever catch it, but could you point out exactly where it forgot the apostrophes?  



    Tried to come back... found nothing to come back to...
  •  06-10-2008, 4:54 AM 251862 in reply to 251859

    Re: Private Lewis (FF)

    First quote.



    The silver crest of the gleaming point of the tool wishes you freedom from a retched existence.
  •  06-10-2008, 9:11 AM 251964 in reply to 251862

    Re: Private Lewis (FF)

    can 1 of u pm the story 2 me or put it on this thread so i can read the rest of the story
    Remember The Fight

    Thanks Civ Base
    clickhere
    and if your a noob click here
  •  06-10-2008, 9:14 AM 251965 in reply to 251964

    Re: Private Lewis (FF)

    The Private Lewis story?



    The silver crest of the gleaming point of the tool wishes you freedom from a retched existence.
  •  06-10-2008, 9:16 AM 251966 in reply to 251965

    Re: Private Lewis (FF)

    ya im diein to read the rest of the story
    Remember The Fight

    Thanks Civ Base
    clickhere
    and if your a noob click here
  •  06-10-2008, 9:17 AM 251968 in reply to 251966

    Re: Private Lewis (FF)

    You want the whole story PMd to you?



    The silver crest of the gleaming point of the tool wishes you freedom from a retched existence.
  •  06-10-2008, 9:22 AM 251972 in reply to 251968

    Re: Private Lewis (FF)

    a chapter at a time would be good if u can
    Remember The Fight

    Thanks Civ Base
    clickhere
    and if your a noob click here
  •  06-10-2008, 11:27 AM 252066 in reply to 251972

    Re: Private Lewis (FF)

    thanks for the review Leafy

    i noticed my mistakes

    and i will rewrite the story as soon as i get the chance


  •  06-13-2008, 11:54 AM 256247 in reply to 252066

    Re: Private Lewis (FF)

    chapter 12 is up

  •  06-13-2008, 12:06 PM 256258 in reply to 256247

    Re: Private Lewis (FF)

    good chapter, a little on the short side but oh well.

    Very few errors, that or i just didnt see them.

    There are times where you could change a word or two to make it sound more exciting, like at the end where you said something like 'they went into the woods', it would have sounded better with 'they sped off into the woods' or something like that.

    ITs nothing major im just trying to give a few good tips (for once).


    Im back! Now with 72% more unseriousness!
  •  06-13-2008, 12:07 PM 256262 in reply to 256258

    Re: Private Lewis (FF)

    i usually have that problem...

    (curse you bad vocabulary!)


Page 13 of 16 (235 items)   « First ... < Previous 11 12 13 14 15 Next > ... Last »
View as RSS news feed in XML