Ensemble Studios

Halo: Operation Overwatch

Last post 07-02-2008, 3:38 AM by Vigil. 412 replies.
Page 9 of 28 (413 items)   « First ... < Previous 7 8 9 10 11 Next > ... Last »
Sort Posts: Previous Next
  •  05-13-2008, 2:55 AM 228107 in reply to 221816

    • Vigil
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 05-22-2007
    • Forerunner personel assitance AI serial E/9 657 82
    • Posts 3,574

    Re: Halo: Operation Overwatch

    If anybody cares, I'm writing chapter 7.
    'For eons I have watched as you have misinterpreted. This is not Reclaimation, this is reclaimer'- Mendicant Bias

    Vigil is watching you

    Check out my second fan-fic: Operation Overwatch
  •  05-13-2008, 4:17 AM 228118 in reply to 228107

    • Vigil
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 05-22-2007
    • Forerunner personel assitance AI serial E/9 657 82
    • Posts 3,574

    Re: Halo: Operation Overwatch

    And here it is, not my best Chapters, but it sets the scene.

    Chapter 7

     

    UNSC Prowler Memphis- Currently in Slipspace

    12th November 2568 Military calendar 09.00

     

     

    Kyle sat uncomfortably in the chair in the Spartan’s private quarters. It had obviously been a room for VIP’s or senior staff as it was very large and had a large drinks cabinet to the far corner of the room and a bar. It had been hastily filled with beds and chairs by the crew before they arrived. Unfortunately, the chairs weren’t the roomiest in their MJONLIR armour.

     

    Kyle looked out the bluish glow of slipspace. He was always fascinated by it. The fact they had to tear into another dimension, and then reappear somewhere else was amazing, even if he had been on ships for most of his life, it still impressed him.

     

    They had been travelling for two days to Frontier. Kyle had been very restless those few days, as he was constantly thinking about the mission. Part of him agreed with Peter, this felt like a rather bad situation. He was also concerned with Team Sigma, the group of Spartans that were missing. Even though they were usually out on mission and they were second generation Spartan IV’s, they did know each other. The Spartans were like a family and they knew their own well. Kyle had been impressed with what he had seen of them, and they looked very promising team. So even said they were ‘the next blue team’. Though and all of the team played down their abilities as they believed they were just doing their job, their record couldn’t be denied. They were the most successful Spartan IV team. Kyle found it rather unnerving that all these young Spartans looked up to him and his team mates, that they were the example, which they were to follow.

     

     

      ‘You alright Kyle, you seem a little tense?’ Mira said.

     

    He was getting used to her in his armour, she had been helpful over the last few days, when they were preparing their gear and looking at the Intel for the tenth time. She also had helped the ship’s AI, an older ‘dumb AI’ called forgotten sun. She had found away to improve the slipspace drive efficiency by 10%, by routing some power that was being used to keep some of the weapon systems primed. Captain Harker had been against this but she argued that even if they were fully functional, if there was a large enemy force waiting for them, it would really matter as the Memphis wasn’t a warship. He had buckled eventually and now they were nearly at their destination. Kyle believed she would have been helpful, but he hadn’t realised the scale of her abilities, Dr Singh was wise to give her to them. He was looking forward to see what she could do in a combat situation.

     

    ‘I’m fine, just thinking about the mission again.’ Kyle replied after a long silence.

     

    ‘Okay, well the captain wants to see you.’

     

    ‘How do you know that? I haven’t heard anything.’

     

    ‘Cameras on the bridge with full audio, he just said he wanted all the Spartans up here.’

     

    Sure enough an announcement came over the intercom.

     

    ‘Blue team to the bridge, repeat blue team to the bridge.’ Said the announcer.

     

    ‘***, you’re good. Where are the others?’ Kyle asked, as he was in their quarters alone.’

     

    ‘I try.’ She said sounding a little flattered. ‘Right they’re on their way, we’d better get moving.

     

    Kyle took on last look at the slipstream and walked out the door. The ship was rather small so it didn’t take him long to reach the bridge. Caspian, Shen and Peter were already there. Captain Harker glared angrily at them. Kyle was getting a little sick of his hostility to them, but hopefully he be on ground soon and he could focus solely on the mission.

     

    ‘Where the Sam hill is the other Spartan?’ He said looking at Caspian.

     

    ‘She’s coming, be patient Sir.’ Caspian replied in a clam voice.

     

    ‘Patient? I’m the captain on this ship. I’m the senior officer, when I order you up to the bridge I *** well expect you to come here double time.’

     

    ‘With all due respect sir she was on the other side of the ship, in some training exercises, give a minute.’ Caspian replied.

     

    The door slid open and Alex strode in and took up a position to the right of Kyle.

     

    ‘Sorry about the delay, I broke a nail on the way here.’ She said on the private intercom.

     

    ‘Very funny, the captain fuming about you being late.’ Caspian replied.

     

    ‘Ahhh this guy’s really temperamental, the guy needs to chill out, be Zen and calm.’

     

    ‘Well he is the commanding officer, and I doubt he has time for yoga.’ Shen said.

    ‘Great now I’m thinking of him doing yoga. Not a pretty sight.’ Alex said.

     

    The captain then abruptly said sarcastically

    ‘Well can I start, or should I wait for you to finish talking?’

     

    Caspian gave a slight nod, and they flipped their COM back to open.

     

    ‘My apologises sir, please begin.’

     

    ‘Right now as you know we are nearly at Frontier. When we arrive, we will activate our camouflage and go into low orbit. From there, you can take the ODST drop pods down to the planet. Any questions?’

     

    ‘Just one sir.’ Shen said ‘Will we be getting any support once were ground side?’

     

    ‘Negative, I only have a handful of men on this ship and I need them at their stations. You’ll be on your own.’ Harker said.

     

    ‘Understood.’ Caspian said.

     

    ‘Good, now we should just be about to leave slipspace.’

     

    The blue light of slipspace vaporised and reformed into the black of normal space. In front of them was Frontier.

     

    ‘My god what happened here?’ Said on of the crewman at navigation. Kyle couldn’t blame him.

     

    Frontier was burning, the once green and blue planet was now brown and red as fires burned on its surface. The blue seas were now dried up. The planet looked like it was dying. Kyle took a deep breath.

     

    End of Chapter 7

     


    'For eons I have watched as you have misinterpreted. This is not Reclaimation, this is reclaimer'- Mendicant Bias

    Vigil is watching you

    Check out my second fan-fic: Operation Overwatch
  •  05-13-2008, 4:47 AM 228125 in reply to 228118

    Re: Halo: Operation Overwatch

    Kyle and Mira are very deep characters who help the story along to become that bit more intriguing.

    You portrayed the character Caspian as a loyal tolerant soldier... very well done.

    Harker (Captain) is a bit short tempered lol, he was an amusing character, and the same goes with the other characters. You show through this, great understanding of the human mind...empathy. The characters show realistic reactions to situations that happen to them.

    You've really good spelling and grammar applied with pretty good terminology.

    I like the use of random profanity...it makes the persona seem all that more realistic.

    Lengthy chapters that aren't too short, well done.

    One bad point is there needs to be more action... less conversing. But you do the conversing very well... I guess I like action lol.

    Overall a nice piece of work that conveys meaning and scenes effectively.

    Good job and nice work.

    May luck be with you.

     




    Best of Wishes Sparhawk
  •  05-13-2008, 4:47 AM 228126 in reply to 228118

    Re: Halo: Operation Overwatch

    I remember when I read Rising Storm. It was brilliant, a perfect mix of character building and action, one of the top five fan fics on this site. I didn't think you could get much better. Then I read this one.

    You've lived up to, if not passed, the standards you set yourself with Rising Storm. Your characters work perfectly, feel natural, I'm enjoying reading more of the heroes of the last story. The battle scenes have made me feel like I'm in the thick of it in the foxhole with the soldiers.

    Ignore Sparhawk's comment on there not being enough action. This is one of those stories where you don't need a lot of action for the story to be good.

    You've surpassed Rising Storm in every way.

    Excellent work. Keep it up and don't change a thing.




    New fan fic Frontline Chapter 1 now up
  •  05-13-2008, 6:11 AM 228147 in reply to 228126

    • Vigil
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 05-22-2007
    • Forerunner personel assitance AI serial E/9 657 82
    • Posts 3,574

    Re: Halo: Operation Overwatch

    Hunter_Killer_12- Soldato:

    I remember when I read Rising Storm. It was brilliant, a perfect mix of character building and action, one of the top five fan fics on this site. I didn't think you could get much better. Then I read this one.

    You've lived up to, if not passed, the standards you set yourself with Rising Storm. Your characters work perfectly, feel natural, I'm enjoying reading more of the heroes of the last story. The battle scenes have made me feel like I'm in the thick of it in the foxhole with the soldiers.

    Ignore Sparhawk's comment on there not being enough action. This is one of those stories where you don't need a lot of action for the story to be good.

    You've surpassed Rising Storm in every way.

    Excellent work. Keep it up and don't change a thing.

    Thank you for your comments, I'm rather touched. The Rising Storm was the benchmark, I'm glad you think this has surpased it, that book was a transtion. My writing improved as I went on. I hope the same happens again.

    As for the calls for action, this is setting the scene, we have a long way to go, and action will become more prevalent, just like the rising storm. 


    'For eons I have watched as you have misinterpreted. This is not Reclaimation, this is reclaimer'- Mendicant Bias

    Vigil is watching you

    Check out my second fan-fic: Operation Overwatch
  •  05-13-2008, 6:18 AM 228149 in reply to 228147

    Re: Halo: Operation Overwatch

    Vigil:
    The Rising Storm was the benchmark, I'm glad you think this has surpased it, that book was a transtion

    Hey, you did it, not us.

    Vigil:
    action will become more prevalent

    Like I said, this story will be good without the action, so don't worry about it.




    New fan fic Frontline Chapter 1 now up
  •  05-13-2008, 8:07 AM 228184 in reply to 228149

    • Vigil
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 05-22-2007
    • Forerunner personel assitance AI serial E/9 657 82
    • Posts 3,574

    Re: Halo: Operation Overwatch

    Hunter_Killer_12- Soldato:

    Vigil:
    The Rising Storm was the benchmark, I'm glad you think this has surpased it, that book was a transtion

    Hey, you did it, not us.

    Vigil:
    action will become more prevalent

    Like I said, this story will be good without the action, so don't worry about it.

    No matter, action will appear, much like it did in the rising storm, building to a climax at the end.

    I glad you think that, I'm not so sure yet, it needs a few more chapters. I think the begining is better this time around.


    'For eons I have watched as you have misinterpreted. This is not Reclaimation, this is reclaimer'- Mendicant Bias

    Vigil is watching you

    Check out my second fan-fic: Operation Overwatch
  •  05-14-2008, 2:23 AM 229008 in reply to 228184

    • Vigil
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 05-22-2007
    • Forerunner personel assitance AI serial E/9 657 82
    • Posts 3,574

    Re: Halo: Operation Overwatch

    Little update.

    I try and witre a bit of chapter 8 today.

    Also look on the fan-fic terminal for an interesting announcement................


    'For eons I have watched as you have misinterpreted. This is not Reclaimation, this is reclaimer'- Mendicant Bias

    Vigil is watching you

    Check out my second fan-fic: Operation Overwatch
  •  05-14-2008, 7:17 AM 229159 in reply to 229008

    Re: Halo: Operation Overwatch

    Can't wait till chapter 8.

    Edit: Those covenant monkey a#ses are going to regret ever having glassed the planet Frontier.. I hope so.

    *Arrrgghhh, the suspense is slowly dwindling my life away into the blackest of despair...*

    Good luck.

     




    Best of Wishes Sparhawk
  •  05-14-2008, 9:51 AM 229214 in reply to 229159

    • Vigil
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 05-22-2007
    • Forerunner personel assitance AI serial E/9 657 82
    • Posts 3,574

    Re: Halo: Operation Overwatch

    Sparhawk:

    Can't wait till chapter 8.

    Those covenant squid faces are going to regret ever having glassed the planet Frontier.. I hope so.

    *Arrrgghhh, the suspense is slowly dwindling my life away into the blackest of despair...*

    Good luck.

     

    Squid faces? Did you read the Rising storm the whole way through? they are our allies. We are up against oversized gorillas.

    Chapter may be a while comming, work to do, revison needs to be done, thugs need to die on GTA IV, I have quite a busy schedule.

    Have you looked at my little announcement on the fan-fic terminal?


    'For eons I have watched as you have misinterpreted. This is not Reclaimation, this is reclaimer'- Mendicant Bias

    Vigil is watching you

    Check out my second fan-fic: Operation Overwatch
  •  05-14-2008, 9:55 AM 229217 in reply to 229214

    Re: Halo: Operation Overwatch

    Squid faces also covers brutes..for me. It is a generalisation, that brutes look no better then the elites.

    Does that explain it. lol.

    Nice story.

    Next time I'll use something different...just for you, because you are special.




    Best of Wishes Sparhawk
  •  05-14-2008, 10:04 AM 229222 in reply to 229217

    • Vigil
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 05-22-2007
    • Forerunner personel assitance AI serial E/9 657 82
    • Posts 3,574

    Re: Halo: Operation Overwatch

    Sparhawk:

    Squid faces also covers brutes..for me. It is a generalisation, that brutes look no better then the elites.

    Does that explain it. lol.

    Nice story.

    Next time I'll use something different...just for you, because you are special.

    I see well that still doesn't answer my final question.

    Yay I'm special.


    'For eons I have watched as you have misinterpreted. This is not Reclaimation, this is reclaimer'- Mendicant Bias

    Vigil is watching you

    Check out my second fan-fic: Operation Overwatch
  •  05-14-2008, 10:06 AM 229223 in reply to 229222

    Re: Halo: Operation Overwatch

    Final question:

    Who's this well known character?????




    Best of Wishes Sparhawk
  •  05-14-2008, 10:09 AM 229226 in reply to 229223

    • Vigil
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 05-22-2007
    • Forerunner personel assitance AI serial E/9 657 82
    • Posts 3,574

    Re: Halo: Operation Overwatch

    Sparhawk:

    Final question:

    Who's this well known character?????

    That is indeed the question.

     


    'For eons I have watched as you have misinterpreted. This is not Reclaimation, this is reclaimer'- Mendicant Bias

    Vigil is watching you

    Check out my second fan-fic: Operation Overwatch
  •  05-14-2008, 10:12 AM 229227 in reply to 229226

    Re: Halo: Operation Overwatch

    Well?????

    Any hints as to whom you are referring to???????

    Come on... you know you want to tell me...I'm just too lovable not to tell.

     




    Best of Wishes Sparhawk
Page 9 of 28 (413 items)   « First ... < Previous 7 8 9 10 11 Next > ... Last »
View as RSS news feed in XML