Mr. Bacon:

spartan 023:

prepare for PART TWO

here is a preview

Artemis ran as URF soilders surrouunded the base and fired a 3 round burst from his experimental BR55

cool can't wait for the whole thing 

then don't

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checkout my fanfic operation flamehawk

i

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checkout my fanfic operation flamehawk

I am having writers block and need ideas

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checkout my fanfic operation flamehawk

come on no Ideas I guess I will have to stop operation flamehawk :(

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checkout my fanfic operation flamehawk

1 more chane ANY IDEAS AS TO WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

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checkout my fanfic operation flamehawk

I CANNOT believe there are not any ideas

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COME ON I NEED AN IDEA

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checkout my fanfic operation flamehawk

Alright I just recieved inspiration so I present PART TWO

                                                                     Episode 5 part two

Artemis ran as URF soilders surrouunded the base which was made of concrete buidings except for the command center which was entirely Metal and fired a 3 round burst from his experimental BR55. He then proceeded to reload because that was his last three shot in his clip. He then charged the URF army shouting "FOR FIRE TEAM CHARLIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE". he quickly fired all his weapons ammo. Dropped it, grabbed a nearby confetti maker, And opened fire. He shot down 10 at once then he saw the URF soider who had nearly killed him at the beach. Artemis said"So you are still alive I will fix that". Sadly Artemis took a mortal wound and then he said "I will see you soon fire team Charlie. He then picked up 2 frag grenades pulled the pins and charged the man.   

                                                                      Epilouge

In the operation:Flamehawk museum young child Artemis junior Adams saw the exhibit and went to his dads area. He then read "here is all that remains of seargeant Artems,G,Adams He was one of the bravest soilders on the frontline and he died ny suicide and took 20 URF with him because he was mortally wounded". The young child then said"I miss you daddy". He then walked away He had kept the weapon his father had used and his uniform.

 

                                                                       The End

 

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Artemis:

Artemis says, "Awkward..."

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1why did you quote it? 2 How was it akward?

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Plz answer

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checkout my fanfic operation flamehawk

Hmmm.....Just read through it.

I liked the fact it was reasonably short, so it didn't take me long to read through it.

Sadly I have a few criticisms, I apolgise if it seems nasty, but this is just my opinion to help you improve your writing.

It was way to short, I found it incredible difficult to follow what was going on, as each episode was over before I could get any feel for what was happening. In future, I would try to space your work out and explain what is happening, what your character is feeling, the surroundings etc To paint a picture in my mind.

There were a few spelling mistakes, nothing to major though.

I hope this is of use to you and you continue writing, I see potential for a decent story here.

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'For eons I have watched as you have misinterpreted. This is not Reclaimation, this is reclaimer'- Mendicant Bias

Vigil is watching you

Check out my second fan-fic: Operation Overwatch

for a moment i forgot what the confetti maker was and was sitting here thinking wtf, how is he killing them with little bits of paper lol

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Deception is here

lol! remember kids, confetti can kill

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what you looking at bird brain?
The fall of the covenant read it, its good

Vigil:

Hmmm.....Just read through it.

I liked the fact it was reasonably short, so it didn't take me long to read through it.

Sadly I have a few criticisms, I apolgise if it seems nasty, but this is just my opinion to help you improve your writing.

It was way to short, I found it incredible difficult to follow what was going on, as each episode was over before I could get any feel for what was happening. In future, I would try to space your work out and explain what is happening, what your character is feeling, the surroundings etc To paint a picture in my mind.

There were a few spelling mistakes, nothing to major though.

I hope this is of use to you and you continue writing, I see potential for a decent story here.

Ummm tell U what I will continue and make it longer IF U can find a way to continue the story cause rememeber Artemis Died  (P.S. No Offense to The REAL Artemis)

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checkout my fanfic operation flamehawk