Ensemble Studios

Operation:Flamehawk Discussion

Last post 06-12-2008, 2:11 AM by Vigil. 60 replies.
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  •  05-10-2008, 3:43 PM 225137 in reply to 225087

    Re: Operation:Flamehawk

    Mr. Bacon:
    spartan 023:

    prepare for PART TWO

    here is a preview

    Artemis ran as URF soilders surrouunded the base and fired a 3 round burst from his experimental BR55

    cool can't wait for the whole thing 

    then don't


    checkout my fanfic operation flamehawk
  •  05-12-2008, 8:37 PM 227781 in reply to 225137

    Re: Operation:Flamehawk

    i
    checkout my fanfic operation flamehawk
  •  05-12-2008, 8:37 PM 227782 in reply to 225137

    Re: Operation:Flamehawk

    I am having writers block and need ideas


    checkout my fanfic operation flamehawk
  •  05-29-2008, 8:29 PM 240680 in reply to 227782

    Re: Operation:Flamehawk

    come on no Ideas I guess I will have to stop operation flamehawk :(
    checkout my fanfic operation flamehawk
  •  05-29-2008, 8:35 PM 240687 in reply to 240680

    Re: Operation:Flamehawk

    1 more chane ANY IDEAS AS TO WHAT HAPPENS NEXT
    checkout my fanfic operation flamehawk
  •  05-29-2008, 9:17 PM 240714 in reply to 240687

    Re: Operation:Flamehawk

    I CANNOT believe there are not any ideas
    checkout my fanfic operation flamehawk
  •  05-30-2008, 9:18 PM 241538 in reply to 240714

    Re: Operation:Flamehawk

    COME ON I NEED AN IDEA
    checkout my fanfic operation flamehawk
  •  05-30-2008, 9:32 PM 241556 in reply to 225137

    Re: Operation:Flamehawk

    Alright I just recieved inspiration so I present PART TWO

                                                                         Episode 5 part two

    Artemis ran as URF soilders surrouunded the base which was made of concrete buidings except for the command center which was entirely Metal and fired a 3 round burst from his experimental BR55. He then proceeded to reload because that was his last three shot in his clip. He then charged the URF army shouting "FOR FIRE TEAM CHARLIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE". he quickly fired all his weapons ammo. Dropped it, grabbed a nearby confetti maker, And opened fire. He shot down 10 at once then he saw the URF soider who had nearly killed him at the beach. Artemis said"So you are still alive I will fix that". Sadly Artemis took a mortal wound and then he said "I will see you soon fire team Charlie. He then picked up 2 frag grenades pulled the pins and charged the man.   

                                                                          Epilouge

    In the operation:Flamehawk museum young child Artemis junior Adams saw the exhibit and went to his dads area. He then read "here is all that remains of seargeant Artems,G,Adams He was one of the bravest soilders on the frontline and he died ny suicide and took 20 URF with him because he was mortally wounded". The young child then said"I miss you daddy". He then walked away He had kept the weapon his father had used and his uniform.

     

                                                                           The End

     


    checkout my fanfic operation flamehawk
  •  05-31-2008, 1:08 AM 241696 in reply to 241556

    Re: Operation:Flamehawk

    Artemis:

    Artemis says, "Awkward..."


    Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.

    Fight Together, Never Surrender. BHW Clan.
  •  05-31-2008, 10:39 AM 241896 in reply to 241696

    Re: Operation:Flamehawk

    1why did you quote it? 2 How was it akward?
    checkout my fanfic operation flamehawk
  •  06-02-2008, 9:04 AM 243883 in reply to 241896

    Re: Operation:Flamehawk

    Plz answer
    checkout my fanfic operation flamehawk
  •  06-02-2008, 9:15 AM 243884 in reply to 243883

    • Vigil
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 05-22-2007
    • Forerunner personel assitance AI serial E/9 657 82
    • Posts 3,574

    Re: Operation:Flamehawk

    Hmmm.....Just read through it.

    I liked the fact it was reasonably short, so it didn't take me long to read through it.

    Sadly I have a few criticisms, I apolgise if it seems nasty, but this is just my opinion to help you improve your writing.

    It was way to short, I found it incredible difficult to follow what was going on, as each episode was over before I could get any feel for what was happening. In future, I would try to space your work out and explain what is happening, what your character is feeling, the surroundings etc To paint a picture in my mind.

    There were a few spelling mistakes, nothing to major though.

    I hope this is of use to you and you continue writing, I see potential for a decent story here.


    'For eons I have watched as you have misinterpreted. This is not Reclaimation, this is reclaimer'- Mendicant Bias

    Vigil is watching you

    Check out my second fan-fic: Operation Overwatch
  •  06-02-2008, 12:39 PM 243940 in reply to 243884

    Re: Operation:Flamehawk

    for a moment i forgot what the confetti maker was and was sitting here thinking wtf, how is he killing them with little bits of paper lol


    Deception is here
  •  06-02-2008, 12:40 PM 243942 in reply to 243940

    Re: Operation:Flamehawk

    lol! remember kids, confetti can kill


    what you looking at bird brain?
    The fall of the covenant read it, its good

  •  06-02-2008, 9:25 PM 244580 in reply to 243884

    Re: Operation:Flamehawk

    Vigil:

    Hmmm.....Just read through it.

    I liked the fact it was reasonably short, so it didn't take me long to read through it.

    Sadly I have a few criticisms, I apolgise if it seems nasty, but this is just my opinion to help you improve your writing.

    It was way to short, I found it incredible difficult to follow what was going on, as each episode was over before I could get any feel for what was happening. In future, I would try to space your work out and explain what is happening, what your character is feeling, the surroundings etc To paint a picture in my mind.

    There were a few spelling mistakes, nothing to major though.

    I hope this is of use to you and you continue writing, I see potential for a decent story here.

    Ummm tell U what I will continue and make it longer IF U can find a way to continue the story cause rememeber Artemis Died  (P.S. No Offense to The REAL Artemis)


    checkout my fanfic operation flamehawk
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