MoH:

Don't keep switching between past and present tense, it makes it much less professional.

You forgot the confusing part.

*looks at story with a befuddled and bewildered expression*

(It's not that bad, but still it could be better in that regard)

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Best of Wishes Sparhawk

That was the longest episode yet. And the episodes here are unedited. For the edited ones look at the first post.

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                                                                                                    Chapter 4 Episode 1

           Jim falls directly into the hornet. He gets into a seat with minor injuries.

" Hello, this is your pilot, Emmy Hower, speaking to report to you that this ship will dock into a ship, Fallen Angel. Please caution as now the hatch will now close as we exit the atmosphere." says the pilot. The pilot turns around and sees Jim.

"Emmy! You are ok!" Jim says, " now give me a beer."

"Yes sir," Emmy says and turns on auto-pilot. Then reaches into the glove compartment , takes out a cold, full, beer bottle and hands it to Jim.

Jim pops off the cap, chugs on the beer, and takes a large gulp.  Zanzibar Delight, my favorite! Jim thought to himself.

The hatch closes and Jim justs waits.
 

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                                                                                  Chapter 4 Episode 2

        The Hornet approaches the Fallen Angel. It enters the landing bay and a red light awakens Jim. Jim had taken down 2 beers before he fell asleep. He woke up alarmed by the flashing red light. A marine walked up to him and let him out. Jim simply stared at the landing bay.  A Longsword enters and lands. Chattering fills the vast bay. Lights flash here and there.

Jim walks over to a open door and walks in. He though where are all of the Terran Marines?

He walks into a room labeled "Bridge". Jim sees the crew working away. He walks foward and finds the captain.

"Jim, Jim, is that you?" asks the captain.

"George?" Jim says as he realizes that the captain was a friend of his in Mara Sar.

" I haven't seen you since we first found the Zerg." says the captain.

" Me too!" Jim answers.

" Something terrible happened after that," says George.

" What?" Jim asks.

" This," George show him a large hump on his back.

Wait, haven't I seen that before?  Jim thinks to himself. I remember it! It was in the book. It said, "  If large bulges of biomass appear, a spore has grown inside of the you. Once it is old enough. It will infect the man." holy Crap!

" Our Terran Marines have this too." George informs Jim.

Jim slides out his pistol silently and fires at the infected captain. The bullet pierces through the ribs, through the heart, and into the bulge of his back.

The crew hears this firing and run out of the bridge for help.
 

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I need more *tears apart fourms* I can not wait for chapter 4 episode 3

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checkout my fanfic operation flamehawk

yah, that will be up tomorrow.

*spoiler* Click, Click, Click, Jim's ammo runs out of pistol ammo at the medic bay #12. "BZZZZ" He turns on his lightsaber and begins *spoiler* 

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                                                                   Chapter 4 Episode 3

 

              Jim quickly walks out of the room and slides into a lounge. It was silent. All of a sudden a large roar from across the ship is heard. Jim looks around and finds another door. He kicks open the door and sees 5 marines with BRs pointing at him.

" Stop in the name of UNSC," says one.

" Stop in the name of God," Jim says and takes out his lightsaber.

Still broken! Jim thinks. He runs back into the room and hides into a closet. He takes out his pistol.

"Click,click,click," there is no more ammo in the gun Jim figures. He searches blindly for something ; anything.

He finds a flash light. He shines it for the entrance. Jim finds that there is a vent. He pops it open and crawls in. The first thing he notices is a sign above him.                                "Medic Bay # 12"
 

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I cannot wait for the next episode

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checkout my fanfic operation flamehawk

                                                                               Chapter 4 Episode 4

                    Jim just stares. Endless rows of infected Terran marines as far as the eye can see. Jim slides to his right and finds a crystal. He quickly takes his lightsaber, takes out its crystal, and puts in the crystal he just found. He turns on the lighsaber and a glow of red appears.

         The Infected marines began to wake up. Jim starts ripping them into pieces. Slashes through one, when another one jumps at him Jim slashes through him. Infection forms eject from the bodies and began to pour down the narrow bay. Jim grabs the closest weapon, an AR, and began to open fire.Soon the infection forms are joined by more Terran marines. He takes the AR in one hand and the lightsaber in the other, taking down anything that moves. Jim slowly advances. Then Infection forms come from behind him. Jim, having no choice, drills a hole in the ceiling and jumps through it.

      He is in the barracks. Jim gets a grenade, pulls the pin, and throws it down the hole. Jim runs out of the barracks, grabbing AR ammo,pistol ammo, and a HE grenade. He appears into a room filled with escape pods. Marines run everywhere. Jim sees one escape pod leave and another come right in.

            Why back in? Jim thought. He was answered by the escape pod opening and seeing the worst thing that could accour.

                                                            Zerg!
 

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Cool

 

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Gamertag= SBDassassin21

                                                                                     Chapter 5 Episode 1

 

        Zergs rushed into the already Flood infested ship. Jim quickly ran above into a vent. A massive Flood on Zerg battle then began. A wave of Zerglings tore the Combat forms into pieces. Then infection forms infected the Zerglings. Then the larva infected the infected Zerglings. Then the combat forms shot them to death. Atlast Jim grew weary of watching and began to fire on the infection forms. The Zerglings then thrived killing everything. Jim took his chance and jump down. He drew out his lightsaber and sliced at will.

         Jim then rushed into an escape pod that was infested with Zerg larva. Jim simply sliced the ones in his way and blasted off the exploding ship. He killed the Zerg on the pod and set his course for Earth.
 

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                                                                                           Chapter 5 Episode 2

           The escape pod begins to enter the atmosphere. The escape pod begins to burn up. Jim ejects the dragshute and the dropship loses speed remarkably. It lands into a vast hillside. Jim begins to slowly climb out of the damaged escape pod. Jim drops out and gets on his feet. Jim realizes he is in California. He crashed into a vine yard. Jim grabs some grapes and eats them. He hasn't eaten in ages. He picks up more and begins to chug them down his throat. Satisfaction fills his stomach. Jim begins to walk to a wooden cabin in the west on top of a hill. Jim glanced at the Sun once more to know where is West. It was Noon.

         To his surprise the Sun wasn't the only thing in the sky. Large escape pods begin to fall into the ground. Jim realizes that those escape pods followed him from the Fallen Angel. Jim ate his last grape and picked up a thick metal rod used for growing grapes. Jim grasped another one and riped them out of the ground. Jim cleaned the dirt off of them by scraping them together and ran for the cabin.
 

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im not that familiar with starcraft but im still loving the story, keep it up

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Deception is here

Most of the information from Starcraft is from the Starcraft 2 info pages.

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                                                                Chapter 5 Episode 3

                  Jim was half-way to the cabin when one of the escape pods crashes into the ground about 200 meters behind him. Jim kept running. Smoke filled the air around the pod. Infection forms began climbing out. Combat forms crawled out and onto the lush ground. Jim ran faster and faster as more and more creatures began to appear. The Flood were not the only creatures. Zerg arose too. Another Zerg and Flood battle. Jim needed the distraction to escape. He made to the cabin,kicked open the door, and stared. An .53 Revolver and .78 Annabelle appeared. Jim grasped these weapons and found something else.

          He found binoculars. He used it to stare out onto the vast and agricultural landscape. Jim saw a Terran base 2 miles down an unpaved road. Jim went behind the cabin and saw a old Jeep parked. Jim turned around to see if any one was looking. Jim saw thousands of Zerglings charging that his direction. Jim jumped into the car and began to hot wire it. A loud roar echoed and Jim pushed his foot onto the pedal. The Jeep sputtered smoke and began to move. Jim knew he wouldn't make it that far before the Zerglings caught up. Jim just knew as long as he has a gun he'd be fine.

          Jim was about 1 mile till he would of arrived at the base. The Zerglings caught up now. Jim put the Jeep on cruise and took out the Annebelle. He shot at one, took out the Revolver and began to fire with both. The first wave of Zerglings were shot easily. Jim quickly reloaded abd remembered one thing. He didn't have any ammo with it. Jim searched everywhere. He found a bucket. Jim looked to his right and saw the gas casket. He turned open and emptied some gas into the bucket. Then he closed it and poured the gas behind the car. Used the metal rod to rip out a bit of cloth from the seat. He went to the front of the car.Used the rod to rip out the hood and put the cloth in the engine for a second. The cloth lit fire. Jim threw it out. The cloth landed onto the gas. The gas was lit. The fire then lit the leaves of the grape plants. A sea of fire grew. Zerglings burned.

         Jim made it to the base and ran inside.
 

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