FF...

Last post 05-01-2008, 5:45 AM by Captain Cazador- Soldato. 1 replies.
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  •  05-01-2008, 5:35 AM 218899

    FF...

    Hey everyone. After reading Hunter_Killer_12- Soldato's story on New Bethlehem. I have decided to write a follow-on story. So far i have only done the prologue. And depending on the reviews that i get, depends on whether i'll continue.

     

     

    Prologue

    Edge of Kingston system

    On board the UNSC Destroyer

                                                                                                      Hercules

    16th January 2531

    2034 hours

     

    Aboard the UNSC Destroyer Hercules, Lieutenant Commander Jack Shepard was sleeping peacefully at the comm. Station after a long days work. It's not his usual station, but it was good being able to get some shuteye. He was dreaming of being back on Earth with his family, having a nice BBQ. Enjoying steak, sausages, bacon and salad. Not to mention an icy cold scotch in his hand. Both his parents were there, as well as his sisters, the younger named Sarah and the older Rachael, his 29yr old brother Aaron, his younger brother Josh, and his best mates Mark and Rachael. He met Mark and Rachael onboard the UNSC Destroyer Icy Night.

     

    Carl, his 32yr old brother would normally be there with them, but a year ago he was sent to a Covenant ship-building facility. His platoon and 3 other like it, all containing 100 of the elite soldiers, ‘Helljumpers' or ODST (Orbital Drop Shock Trooper) were sent in to battle an enemy that was known to outnumber them 10-1. It wasn't much of a battle, more like a massacre. Carl was hit by a Hunter's fuel rod blast that was shot at a fellow ODST. He survived, but barely. After 15 minutes, the order of retreat was issued, but not before extreme loses were sustained. Jack was serving on the Destroyer Dark Night. The Destroyer that deployed his brother. The remaining ODST's that survived, brought Carl onboard to the med-bay, but unfortunately Carl didn't survive. He died in Jacks arms. Out of the 400 ODST's, 23 survived the trip home.

     

    "I still reckon the politicians that sit up on their ‘high' chairs up at parliament don't know a thing about a goddamn strategy. They send good and honest soldiers into a battle that they can't possibly win. Let alone complete a single objective. A suicide mission, that's all it is. No more, no less." Jack said, his temper flaring.

    "Look at what happened to Carl!! He yelled across the table, clenching his fists.

    Everyone stared at him, not understanding the full extent of what he was saying. What he had experienced. Until his older sister Lisa, replied with a degree of respect and sadness in her voice.

    "We all know what happened to Carl. He died doing what he loved most. But remember, sometimes the soldiers that die in those conflicts often save more lives than are lost. Due to them distracting the enemy from our true objective. That's why our government sends those soldiers into these suicide missions." She paused for a second, wiping away tears. Once she did, she continued.

    "What happened to Carl and the other ODST's was unfortunate, but it did give us an idea of the numbers that the Covenant had. You aren't seeing the full picture," Lisa was about to continue before being abruptly cut off by Jack.

    "SEE THE FULL PICTURE!!! You try having a family member that you looked up to die in you arms. THAN, you well see what I had to go through. THAN, try and tell someone that they can't see the ‘full picture'. Jack was clenching his fists that hard, his nails dug into his hand and caused him to bleed. He got up, when to the bathroom to clean his hands from the blood.

    He looked in the mirror, and remembered the time he spent with Carl before he when on a mission. Once again his rage flared up, but quickly calmed once he seen his best friend Jessica. The girl of his dreams. She was looking at his reflection, she had a worried look on her face. Jess slowly walked over to Jack, placed her hand on his shoulder, and turned him around to look at his once bleeding hands. Satisfied, she placed her hands ‘round his neck. He than became conscious of how close they were. He wanted to kiss her, and just as he was about to, this beeping noise sounded all around him. Shepard awoke with a start. The beeping in his dream was an incoming message from Earth.

    Jack plays the message.

    "This is Admiral Combs, requesting audience with Captain Jones ASAP."

    "Yes sir." Jack replies. He taps his headset which connects into the ships central radio network.

    "Captain Jones, you have a message from Admiral Combs."

    He waits a few seconds before there is a response from the Captain.

    "Alright, tell the Admiral that I'll be there shortly."

    Jack than switches his headset back to the Admiral.

    "The Captain will be with you shortly, sir."

     

    "Why does something always have to happen just before something good." Jack says referring to his dream.

    Jack looks over his shoulder just at Captain Jones walks onto the bridge.

    "Sir." Jack automatically said without thinking. Years of service does that to ya.

    "Patch him through LC."

    While Jack turns around and pushes a button to bring back the admiral he replies, "Yes, sir."

    He looks up from the comm. Station when he hears the admiral's voice once again.

    "Ah, Captain Jones. I'll be brief. Fleet Command has recently received an encrypted message from the prowler class ship, Echelon. Echelon was doing a routine scout, when it discovered a fleet of Covenant ships in orbit above New Bethlehem. I'm uploading images now," 12 images of the Covenant fleet come on screen. The entire crew on deck stared as the images slowly cycled through. Admiral Combs continues, "These images were taken approx. 4 hours ago. I have bad news, New Bethlehem has fallen." There were gasps all over the bridge.

    Admiral Combs, not noticing the noises from the crew continued, "we believe that the Covenant are now amassing another invasion force bigger than New Bethlehem's. I'm sending co-ordinates now. Be there at 0100 hours tomorrow. Combs out."

    The screen goes black. There was nothing but silence for a good minute before the Captain looks at the shipboard AI, Darkened Sun.

    "Take us to these co-ordinates, ASAP."

    The entire bridge was on edge after seeing 

     

     

    Above New Bethlehem

    On board the Covenant flagship

    Fiery Redemption

    17th January 2531

    0145 hours

     

    After his last battle, Mantemee was worn out. He longed to be back in his quarters, honing his skills as a infantry commander. But instead he was called onto the bridge on the Covenants pride and joy, a super battlecrusier, Fiery Redemption. This ship was two supercarriers long (approximately 12,000meters long), it's the only ship build to that standard. As it consumes extreme amounts of materials to construct. It is one of a kind. "Shipmaster Mantemee. May I accompany you to the bridge?" a voice asked from behind. As Mantemee turns to face this unknown ally he is hit in the face by the palm their hand. He stumbles backward, blood slowly running down the side of his face. As he prepares to strike back Mantemee replies with, "Now you DIE!" Than he realises that the unknown attacker is actually a childhood friend. The two have always had a friendly rivalry, nothing personal, just a way to stay on top of their game. "Shipmaster Goro!" Mantemee splutters in shock. "Commander Mantemee, how are you my old friend? Oh and its Supreme Commander now. The Fiery Redemption is my flagship. Beautiful isn't she."

    "Battle weary as always," Mantemee replies. He than salutes his friend, and with respect and honour in his voice he adds.

    "Supreme Commander Goro."

    The supreme commander waves his hand, "There is no need for that commander. We are just friends having a friendly chat."

    Goro looks at Mantemee, who has a stunned look upon his face and chuckles.

    You may accompany me if you wish, it is after all your ship." Mantemee stated, continuing towards his original destination. Goro follows Mantemee down the corridor towards the bridge. 20 meters before they reach the bridge's bulkhead door. Mantemee asks.

    "How did you attain such a rank Goro?"

    Goro stops and faces his friend.

    "That, I will tell you another time my good friend."

    As soon as Goro finishes, the door opens and Mantemee spots 14 other shipmasters, which all seem to be waiting on their arrival. The supreme commander walks onto the bridge, Mantemee following hot on his trail, as Goro passes the shipmasters, they all bow, in turn. Showing their respect. He reaches a control panel and pushes a few buttons. A few seconds later the room darkens and a star map appears in the center, right in front of Mantemee's seat.

    Goro slowly glances around the room while saying, "This map shows us that the humans are amassing a fleet to combat ours. Judging on their slipspace technology, they should arrive at our destination in approximately 4 hours." Goro paused, gathering his thoughts and allowing the shipmasters time to absorb the information. He continues, "We don't know the numbers that they will attack in. But they can't hope to defeat out glorious fleet. I will be commanding this campaign aboard our flagship, Fiery Redemption."

    Every shipmaster, minus Mantemee, let loose a mighty roar. All agreeing with Supreme Commander Goro. Goro, pleased with his shipmasters response, than continued with his battle plan.

    "Ok, we have a total of 16 ships. More than enough to take down 30 human ships." Fourteen shipmasters roared in approval, interrupting Goro.

    "Settle down, settle down. Save that for after we destroy them." He pauses once again, but only to let his shipmasters settle down. Once they have he continued, but this time not tolerating any more interruptions.

    "I want two major battle groups, and also a single, smaller group which will engage the humans first. Once, and only once the smaller group codenamed Beta has engaged the enemy, will the two larger fleets provide backup."

    Goro looks towards a Sangheili shipmaster sitting on the far right of Mantemee, who immediately stands, bows and asks.

    "What would you have me do? Supreme Commander." Mantemee than realised who the shipmaster was. It was the shipmaster Rta'Veedu, a long time war veteran. He had seen more combat that almost any other Sangheili commander.

    The Supreme Commander continued with his battle plan, but Mantemee zoned out after a while. He just wanted to do what he was raised to do, kill.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  •  05-01-2008, 5:45 AM 218908 in reply to 218899

    Re: FF...

    Proud of you, my friend. See you've got some sizing issues, though. Happened to me a lot.

    Anyway, other than that, you're living up to the story's predecessor. Just a few minor spelling errors, but nothing major.

    Good work.

    EDIT: For future reference, everyone see 'FF...Prometheus' to review. It's the better version.


    Officialy offline as of April 4 Australian time.
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