OhSoDeadly: I agree, Redwall's an excellent book.
I'm having some problems of late-I can't seem to get the message across fast enough. By which I mean I take far too long to finish one scene. Tips?
i'll try and help out....
if it's action scenes you're talking about: you might just want to try breaking up the actions in separate paragraphs without having to change the overall scene. it may read faster.
i.e.--
Jacob released his grip on the elite's forearm, the plasma rifle momentarily swinging in front of Jacob's face.
The moment passed and the weapon bounced off the marine's shoulder.
The elite was incredibly strong and recovered quickly from the misplaced expenditure of energy. The alien brought the weapon back down and it slammed against the right side of Jacob's helmet.
Stars exploded before his eyes and the marine collasped to the ground in a heap. Jacob tried to regain function in his body, but it failed to produce the results he desperately needed. With the left side of his face half buried in the muddy ground, Jacob saw a hoof enter his view. Following his attacker's figure with his eyes, from the angrily clutched fist up to the laughing mandibles, the marine knew where he had faultered.
He never should have sparred with the alien to begin with.
i know that's probably a bad example, but it's one i came up with at 6 AM.
also, don't be afraid to give details that will give the reader a better picture of what's going on. but PLEASE don't say:
"I stood up and got dressed. My shirt was a colorful mix of red and blue stripes that my grandma had given me on my 13th birthday. Now all i had to do was put on my shoes. They were brown and black with the logo of the brand emblazoned on the outer sides. blah, blah, and blah."
Get my drift?
Don't try and do all the character's background in one breath. space it out a little, giving insights along the way.
when you introduce a new thing, like an organization or a weapon, you don't have to describe it right then. the reader can/ should be able to figure somethings out on their own, but that's the trick to writing a good story. close enough detail without bogging down the story.
hopefully this helps?
New story out! Halo: Below the Brine
(it's the best story you're not reading!)